Moving Through The Waves

Twelve

I finally ran out of tears.
Poor Zander's t-shirt was soaked!
Doctor Robyn offered me a box of tissues and I dabbed my eyes and cheeks, then wiped my nose.
"I might..."
Keegan backed towards the curtains.
"Go and let everyone else know that you're not dying, or something horrendous like that."
He offered.
"You might as well just tell them."
My voice refused to come out as little more than a whisper.
Zander went stiff at my side.
Keegan froze and his eyes widened!
Heart rate increasing, I looked between the two guy's.
"That's not a good idea?"
Zander gently kissed the top of my head.
"Whatever you want."
He murmured.
My entire body flooded with a comforting, familiar warmth.
Keegan looked just about ready to puke!
"Great."
His expression twisted.
"I get to be the one to tell some of the scariest people I know, that our Baby Sister is..."
Apparently he couldn't finish the sentence.
Guilt crashed over me like a wave in the ocean.
"I'm sorry, Kee, you don't have to..."
He held his hand's up, palm's forward.
"I got your back, Bail's."
Warm drop's started rolling down my cheeks.
So much for the tear tank being dry!
I swiped my wadded up tissues across my cheeks.
"Thank you."
I whispered, throat way too thick.
"Adios."
Keegan turned on his heel, pushed through the off blue curtain and was gone.
"Any... question's...?"
Doctor Oaklen asked, his gaze shifting between Zander and I.
My head was spinning.
I couldn't think straight.
"What... happen's from here?"
Zander asked hesitantly.
Thank god he was able to think of something!
And it was a useful question.
"For now, the Mum-To-Be gets her rest and takes it easy."
Doctor Oaklen replied.
Mum?!
The term, used so literally, made my gut wobble.
"We can give you guy's a bit of time to adjust to the news and organise for the samples to get taken and sent to the clinic in the next day or two, if you like?"
Doctor Oaklen offered.
"I... have to get on a plane... at some stage today..."
Zander hedged.
My stomach seemed to drop!
He's leaving?!
My body language must have given something away, because Zander suddenly shifted and cupped my jaw to get me to look into his eyes.
"Say the word and I won't go."
His dark blue eyes and his voice were filled with the same conviction.
I tried to swallow past the fresh lump in my throat.
"Horizon's Board's can go fuck themselves."
Zander all but whispered, those words apparently for my ears.
He'd signed a contract.
Who knew what kind of consequences he could face if he didn't go?
And I'd lashed out on his heart last night!
On no level did I have any right to ask him to do any such thing.
"You should go."
I whispered, eyes stinging with fresh tears.
Frowning, he pulled back and sat up.
Blinking hastily, I quickly swiped at my eyes.
"I don't mean literally!"
I protested, my voice pitching to a squeak.
He watched me, waiting.
I struggled to pull myself up into some sort of a sitting position.
Zander frowned.
"I meant you should definitely go to your Comp."
I tried to explain.
"Not that I'm kicking you out."
He nodded, slowly.
"I might just..."
I peeled my gaze off Zander, to watch Nurse Armani disappear through the curtains.
"I'll give you guy's some space, too."
Doctor Oaklen announced, sidestepping towards the curtains.
"I'll be back soon, but in the meantime, hit the buzzer if you need anything."
He smiled.
Not sure what to say, I nodded.
Doctor Oaklen turned on his heel and pushed through the curtains.

Silence stretched between Zander and I.
By the time we'd gone well over a minute, he slid down my hospital bed a couple of feet.
Verbal space,
Physical space.
You deserve it.
I reminded myself.
You decided to go and break both your hearts.
The silence — every aspect of it — was killing me!
I laced my fingers together in my lap and stared down at my hand's.
"This is torture!"
I whispered, voice sounding strangled even to my own ears.
Zander answered me with silence.
A fresh round of tear's welled in my eyes.
I tipped my head back to rest it against the pillow.
"What is?"
I peeled my eyes open at the sound of Zander's barely whispered question.
He couldn't be serious?
The human heart doesn't just have a bloody 'off' switch!
"You and me... like this..."
I explained, my throat like sandpaper.
"Yep. I'm not the one who chose it, though."
Zander averted his gaze.
It was uncharacteristic of him to go and sucker punch my heart like that!
He twisted around to look to the edge of the curtain where people seemed to come and go from.
"Guess we should find out how we go about getting that test underway."
I blanked.
"Y-you want to do it?"
I stammered, mind reeling.
He doesn't even want to talk about 'us'?
Zander turned back to me and raised a questioning brow.
"You don't?"
Did I want to know?
Well, yes.
I had to know if it was Zander's, or Lane's.
But I was trying to wrap my head around the idea of being pregnant!
Could I have an abortion if it turned out the Baby wasn't Zander's?
"I... I guess..."
I all but whispered.
"You guess?"
"I'm trying to wrap my head around everything!"
I protested.
I was raped, virtually abducted by my own Mother, my relationship with Zander ended and now I'm pregnant?
"Well, I have to go away, so if we don't get on it now, we won't be able to until I get back next week."
Zander explained.
He could just fucking go, if that was what he wanted!
I clenched my hand's into tight fist's.
"Well maybe you should go and find somebody who can get the ball rolling."
I replied, trying hard to keep my tear's out of my voice.
Zander went to stand, but stopped and turned back to me.
"I'm not trying to pressure you, Bail's."
He all but whispered.
"But the longer we wait..."
The longer I waited, the longer it would be before he could make his decision.
I tried to be stone faced.
"Then go get the Doctor or the Nurse and I'll get them to get on it."
Wordlessly, Zander stood, rounded the end of the bed and passed through the curtains.
I dropped my head back against the pillow and let the fresh round of tear's fall.