FLAME

Jazz

I slipped my shoes off of my feet and trudged further into my bedroom. My head pounded from crying and my back ached from being hunched into a pathetic sobbing ball for the past hour. I shrugged my jacket off and wandered into my bathroom. Slowly, I raised my head to face the mirror. I cringed.

Dear sweet delicate baby Jesus... I look like I've been hit by a truck.

My golden hair stuck up in different directions like a hay stack on top of my head. I made eye contact with myself and puffy and bloodshot blue eyes stared back at me. My face was streaked with my mascara tears, and my nose was still stopped up and runny. I huffed in frustration. I'd always been what people called an ugly crier, but it had never bothered me until tonight. Seeing a girl like Alexis... Scratch that... a woman like Alexis, well it made me wonder if people like me had a place in this world.

I slid off my t-shirt and jeans and gazed at myself. I took in my flat chest and wiry arms. My eyes dropped to my thin hips that led down to my muscular legs. I didn't even bother to look at my backside, I was far too familiar with my lack of the things that men found attractive these days. I frowned and dropped my eyes away, disapprovingly. I was toned, yes, and I had great upper and lower body strength from the intense warm ups and crazy training that I used to lead my track team through. My heart ached at the thought of them. I picked up my phone and quickly shot off a text to Summer, my best friend, and the current track team captain. She was a year younger than me and this year was her senior year of high school. I was grateful that I was able to pass the torch to someone that I knew would do a good job.

EmberTheVirgin: SUMMER!!

TheHottestSummer: Miss me already? It's been less than 24 hours, babe!

EmberTheVirgin: Whatever, you know you miss me too.

TheHottestSummer: You couldn't be more right. How are you doing, hon? Is rich people college just as amazing as we dreamed it would be?

EmberTheVirgin: Yeah. Sort of...

TheHottestSummer: What happened?

EmberTheVirgin: What? I didn't say anything happened. Why did something have to happen?

TheHottestSummer: 1)Because I am your best friend and I know that something is bothering you. 

                                           2)You've been having dreams about this school since you were twelve and you starting saving up by the age of thirteen in hopes to go.

                                           3)You nearly fainted when you got the acceptance letter, and you cried when you found out that it was a full ride. 

Something is seriously wrong for you not to be having a this-is-the-best-day-of-my life type of mood.

For some strange reason, I couldn't bring myself to tell Summer how I felt. She was my number one fan and she had supported me this whole time. She helped me apply, she helped me pick out the outfit I was going to wear for my interview tomorrow morning. Oh shit, my interview! Now I was even more stressed. But I didn't want to worry her with simple feelings that would probably fade. Besides she hadn't been to college yet, and she wouldn't know how to deal with anything either.

EmberTheVirgin: Nothing is wrong, I'm just a little upset. Everything here is fine. Great, in fact. Did you get the pictures I sent you of my room? 

TheHottestSummer: Yeah! That room is fucktastic! What could you possibly be upset about with a room like that??

EmberTheVirgin: I just miss everyone and I'm a little nervous for my interview tomorrow.

TheHottestSummer: Whatever girl! you've got no reason to be. You're gonna crush it! I've got to go. There is a Back-to-School-Bash going on at the lake house. I wish you were here! Love you.

EmberTheVirgin: Love you more!

Summer didn't text back. I thought about who I could possibly talk to about this sudden feeling of isolation. My mom didn't go to college and I wasn't friends with anyone older than me when I was in high school. I was beginning to regret turning down all of the party invitations from seniors back in junior year. 

I didn't know anyone at Stonewell either, so there was truly no one that I could talk to.

The dull thud of a bass guitar coming from the other side of my wall brought me back to my senses. The thrum was soon joined by the smooth twill of a saxophone. A lovely baritone voice followed the lovely jazz music and I immediately recognize it. 

Technically speaking...I do know somebody at Stonewell. I know a very handsome somebody at Stonewell.