Secrets (A Chester Bennington Fan Fiction)

.3.

After that encounter, I couldn't stop thinking about Chester. But how could I stop myself from obsessing about him if Chester had told me he wanted to "spend time with me"? He told me he would risk his friendship with my brother just to be with me, but I don't even know what the hell that means. Was he saying he wanted me as much as I want him? Does he even like me enough to say such a thing? 

I weighed the pros and the cons of seeing him again, considering the gravity of the consequences if anyone finds out. Especially if Mike finds out.

For three days I barely left my bedroom. I skipped classes and avoided going out with my friends. I know I shouldn't have done it, I was only prejudicing my future, but I if I couldn't do anything properly without thinking about him, I probably should just figure it all out and then go back to my normal self.

At least, that was the plan.

The thing was that I didn't want my normal self anymore. I wanted to be the person who was with Chester, the fearless, and the exciting girl I only imagined it could exist inside of me. Being with Chester awakened something inside, something more rebellious and less closed in a protective bubble that I know I have been inside all my life. I wondered if I could still be that girl that has good grades and makes everyone proud, but, at the same time, who can fuck her brother's best friend.

One night, while laying on my bed without being able to fall asleep without thinking about him, I picked up my phone and started typing.

Hey, Chester. How are you? 

Then, I deleted the message and started again. 

Over and over again.

"This is so stupid!" I whispered furiously, throwing the phone to the mattress. Why can't I just send him a fucking text??? It's just a text. A simple, short text. Come on!

I picked up the phone and wrote the first thing that came to my mind.

To Chester: 
Hi. It's Amy. We need to talk, I'm going crazy.

I sent the message and buried my scream by pressing my mouth against my pillow. Instant regret took over me and I found myself biting my nails. My beautifully done nails! Because of one text message. Why did I send it anyway? Because I couldn't stop thinking about him? And what on Earth should I say?

The vibration of my phone startled me, and, with my hands trembling, I read his reply.

From Chester:  
I'll be in your room in 5 minutes.


"What???" I whispered again, looking around as if someone was in the room. 

I walked around, almost making a hole on the floor when I heard a knock on my window.

My eyes widened when I observed Chester climbing up to my window, opening it, and getting in. Immediately, I locked my bedroom door, just in case someone showed up uninvited.

"Uh - hi," I felt my cheek reddening. Damn it. "Climbing windows now?"

"You wanted to talk," he simply stated.

"And you climbed my window. Couldn't you just walk through the front door like normal people?"

"Your parents are in the living room," he stated, his eyes lingering for a moment on my outfit - a long t-shirt and underwear. Why didn't I change into something more appropriate??? He is going to think that I lured him into some kind of sex trap. Oh my God, why am I so stupid? "Amy?"

He managed to get me out of my trance when he said my name and took a step closer to me.

"You wanted to talk. I'm here."