constellations & ocean waves // snowbaz

iv

A/N: i went back and edited the other chapters to make it less cringy and fit it with the plot more. you don't really need to reread, i only changed minor details, but you can if you want to ig.

SIMON

Agatha looked stunned, watching Basilton strut out of the cafeteria. She looked confused, shocked, angry; but with another emotion lingering somewhere underneath the surface. Was she afraid? Distraught? Simon didn't know what it was, but there was no doubt that he hated it. He hated Basilton for making her feel that way. He hated him for acting like he was the best person in the school- especially when it was clear that he was just an outcast. Just a little boy who took the dark academia aesthetic to an extreme.

Other students were looking between Agatha, Simon, and the retreating back of Basilton, whispering amongst themselves. Rumors had been travelling throughout the school about the budding romance between Simon and Agatha but clearly a new unforeseen problem had arisen. What would happen if Basilton and Agatha got together? What if they were all lovey and touchy with each other? Basilton would be seen as a real person instead of an unapproachable rich prat. He might begin to plot; he would have everything at his disposal if he was not only the best at academics, but also popular. Basilton and Agatha would be thrust into a bigger spotlight, since they both have a place in the Old Families. Agatha might no longer want to be Simon and Penny's friend- not if she had access to a higher social position. Basilton must be doing this on purpose. He was trying to steal Simon's friend from him. He must've been plotting this for ages; just to annoy Simon. Just to be better than him at everything.

Simon had to get back at him, but he didn't know how.

"Simon..." Penny said sympathetically, noticing the expression on his face. "I'm sorry about Agatha. I know you liked her a lot."

A random student passing by overhead and shot Simon a pitying expression. As Basilton officially ventured out of eyesight, more and more students were turning towards Simon to see how he was taking it. And the truth was: he wasn't taking it very well.

Simon closed his eyes and leaned his head on his hands, not wanting to see the whole student body pitying him. He had thought he had a real chance with Agatha. He thought they could be together for ages, maybe have little bronze & blonde kids together. He thought he might one day be able to go home and cuddle with her on the couch. It may seem like he was being too hopeful or, quite frankly, kinda stupid. But that wasn't it. They were close. They understood each other. Even if they weren't quite dating yet, they always spent time with each other and they were extremely touchy. Especially after that one day, a few weeks back, when they relaxed under the stars on their backs out on the field.

"Simon, do you think there's an alternate universe out there? Where we're different people, doing different things, living different lives?" she had asked.

Simon thought for a bit. "Maybe. I'm not sure. I used to imagine an alternate me, where I had a nice biological family and a dog."

She had grabbed his hand then, shifting her head to look at him instead of the stars. "You don't need a biological family to have a family, Simon. I'm your family. Me and Penny."

"Yeah, of course. I love you guys. But... it would be nice."

She nodded. "I understand. Sometimes I think about what would happen if I could do anything I pleased... be anyone I want, you know? Not have to worry about having a bad reputation or disgracing my family. To just. Be who I am." Her mind had seemed far away, her eyes unfocused. It was clear she had thought a lot about it.

Simon knew she was talking about something deeper than surface-level yearning, but he didn't quite know what it was. He wanted to be there for her, but he just didn't really understand. So he asked. "What do you mean?"

Her gaze snapped back into focus, staring into his eyes for a second before blinking and looking away. She gripped his hand tighter and smiled slightly. "Nothing. It doesn't matter. But... I would like to grow old with you. Maybe we can start our own little family. Get you your dog."

Simon beamed. "You think so?"

She laughed. "Yeah, Si. Of course."

Simon had taken that as a confession of sorts. But now, as he sat on the sturdy cafeteria bench, he began to think that he had taken it the wrong way. Maybe she was talking about how, instead of being a pretty and delicate lady, she wanted to be more like Basilton. Maybe she wanted to be some kind of dark outcast type, and that's why she was pursuing him now. Maybe she didn't really mean her promise of family. Maybe she just didn't know how to carry the conversation without it getting awkward.

Either way, Simon would support her. Maybe he'd ask her to explain how she felt for the both of them. He could confess his own feelings, try to win her over. He could be there for her. But he'd make sure she was happy, above all. Because as much as he liked - maybe even loved - her, she owed him nothing. He wouldn't pressure her. He just wanted an explanation.