BABY 2? // Billie Eilish

Ch. 6

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Finneas and Claudia in matrimony commended to be honorable among all; and therefore is not to be entered into lightly but reverently, passionately, lovingly and solemnly. Into this - these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together - let them speak now or forever hold their peace," the officiant says.

I look out into the crowded room and see Alissa holding Mila with a smile on her face. Today I should be focused on my best friend and the huge step he's taking, but I can't stop thinking about the current state of my own relationship.

The fight Alissa and I had two days ago brought us no resolution. It practically broke us up. We have not talked or even slept in the same bed. She has officially decided to try commuting to work everyday so we are getting Mila's daycare pickup and drop off situation figured out. I guess she feel like this will give her some sense of normalcy.

All I have ever wanted to do was make Alissa happy and now I don't even think we will make it to our own wedding day. She hasn't said anything else about the plans so neither have I.

As Finneas and Claudia read their vows to each other I feel my eyes begin to water. Not just because of how perfect they sound, but because I can't help thinking I won't get a moment like this.

"May I now have the rings," the officiant says and one of Finneas' friends discreetly elbows me pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry. My bad," I hurriedly hand over the ring I'm holding and everyone laughs lightly at my frazzled state.

The ceremony carries on and they are pronounced husband and wife, joining hands and walking down the aisle as one. During the reception Alissa and I sit together and put on our best front for everyone around us. People tease us about our time coming up and we just smile it off. I try to dance with her, but she declines and hands Mila over to be my partner.

We take separate cars home and end our night the way we have been for the past two nights. One of us gets Mila ready for bed while the other shuts themselves in a room. I think about trying to talk to her, but I talk myself out of it every time.

The next morning I come downstairs just as she finishes up breakfast. "Grab a plate. I made extra," she says before going to the dining room with food for her and Mila.

I fix myself a plate and join them at the table. "So um I have a nanny in mind if you're still against my mom taking Mila to school."

"I just don't want to put that extra responsibility on her. She can still have Mila every Tuesday and Thursday if she wants," she says as she scrolls through her phone.

"Ok," I nod. "Do you want me to contact the girl or do you want to?"

"I'm sure it doesn't matter what I want since it would just end up not making sense," she says sarcastically.