Every Little Thing

Cue Panic Attack

*Photo of Jace*

My brain lost out, shock rooting me in place.
My chest felt too tight, like my heart was trying to punch its way out. My mouth was dry.
For a second, I wasn't eighteen anymore. I was fourteen. Standing on the front lawn. Watching her walk away.

---

Four years ago.

"Wait... what do you mean you're leaving?"
The words felt foreign in my mouth-like saying them out loud made them real.
Lily stood across from me, guilt written across every inch of her face.

"My dad's job... it's transferring him to another city. We leave in a few weeks," she said softly.

And just like that, the world tilted off its axis.

"No," I shook my head. "No way. You can stay here-with me. My mom would be cool with it, I swear."
I was grasping at anything-anything-that could stop time.

But she just shook her head, tears falling freely. "You know I can't. I'm so sorry, Caleb."

My throat burned, eyes stinging from tears I wouldn't let fall. I wanted to scream, to beg, but all I could do was watch her walk away.

---

Now.

Amy stood front and center-because, well, she kind of owned the room. Her copper curls bounced around her shoulders, catching the light like polished fire. With every step she took, heads turned.

She had this effortless glow to her: freckled skin, piercing blue eyes, and a presence that walked the line between queen bee and chaos incarnate. Jace was absolutely whipped, and she knew it.

Of course, Jace had to chime in with his golden retriever energy.

"Hey, Lily! I'm Jace. Unofficial welcoming committee, chaos coordinator, star quarter ba-oof!" His monologue of greatness was cut off by a sharp elbow in the ribs from Amy.
Bless that woman.

Jace may not have known who she was, but everyone else... the tension weighed heavy. I could feel their eyes on me, everyone who knew us from before. Kole, the twins, some of the cheerleaders, looking between us like a bomb was about to go off. That bomb being me.

"Right... sorry, babe. Those two over there are Adam and Zach, our resident twins. That guy's Kole. And last but not least-"

"We're gonna be late!"
The words shot out of my mouth, deeper and sharper than I intended.

My hand shot out, gripping Jace's backpack before yanking him down the hall like we were under fire.

I didn't look back. I couldn't.
But I felt the eyes. Kole's sympathy. The twins' awkward tension.

Fuck my life.

My feet moved on instinct, adrenaline pushing me forward until the hallway behind us disappeared.

Only then did I let go of Jace and start pacing, breath shallow, hands twitching and sweaty at my sides.

My heart was clawing at my ribs, the pressure building like a vice. The space around me still spun, and if the floor were to disappear under me, I would free fall.

I haven't been this close to losing it since the day she left.

"Okay... dude. What the hell was that?"
Jace crossed his arms, leaning against the lockers like I hadn't just dragged him away from a nuclear emotional bomb.

I stopped and ran both hands through my hair. "Use your brain, man. You were there freshman year-when I completely lost it."

I met his eyes. "You know who that was."

My voice cracked on the last word.

I leaned back against the lockers, trying to breathe. I felt lightheaded-like the floor could just disappear, and I'd go down with it.

I saw the moment it clicked-like a switch flipped behind his eyes.

He blinked. "Wait..."
The color drained from his face for just a second.
"That's Lily?
A beat.
"Holy shit. Dude!"

Jace's voice shot up like he couldn't believe it, that stupid giddy grin spreading. I just narrowed my eyes in confusion when he busted out laughing.
"Oh my God's, you're so fucked!" He laughed out, almost on the floor now.

I furrowed my brows and shot him the look-the one that said: Are you serious right now?

"The hell do you mean I'm fucked?" I questioned, tone dangerous like a warning. He kept going.

"Bro, your love for her is deep - personality, emotions, the whole deal. Right?"

I nodded, still not getting it.

"If she's that same person... no... a better version of that person, those feelings of yours are still going to be there, but stronger. Except now, she's a total smoke show. You. Are. Screwed." He started laughing again while that realization plowed into me.

"Who says I'll actually talk to her?" Defensiveness was laced in my tone, and Jace saw right through it.

"Oh, don't even play. If she wants to talk, you know you're gonna cave." He was still chuckling, trying to calm himself down.

"Says you." I shot back, crossing my arms.

"So you're just going to dodge her all year?" He questioned, raising an amused brow at me.

"Yes.... maybe? I don't know." I grumbled, my brain already going to war with my heart on what I was going to do.

He smirked. "Well, you better figure it out because, like it or not-she's back. And you can't avoid her forever."

I groaned and started walking again, grateful my class wasn't far. "I know," I muttered. "But I can at least try."

I wasn't sure if I was lying to him, or myself. Either way...

Jace just laughed. "Go to class, man. Calm down. Try not to implode."

Easy for him to say.

---

By the time I slid into my seat, I felt like I'd aged a decade. I pulled out my book, notebook, and pencil before staring out the window, zoning out as the classroom slowly filled with noise-summer stories, laughter, and the scrape of chairs.

But all I could see was her.

Lily.

That white dress, ending just above her knees. Sky blue Vans. Long legs. Tanned skin. Hair darker than I remembered. And those eyes shimmering like they had a pulse of their own.

One word echoed in my mind: Perfection.

The kind that sticks with you even when you try to forget. The kind that ruins every attempt at moving on. The kind that walks back into your life like a sucker punch to the chest.

I was so lost in my own head, I didn't even notice the teacher walk in. He was probably droning about the syllabus, deadlines, expectations-whatever.

At least this was AP European History. Easy. A subject I excelled at. Thank the Gods for that.

What did snap me out of it was the soft rustle of someone sitting beside me.

Then the scent. Something sweet. Familiar.

And then I heard it - her voice. After nearly four years.

"Caleb."