𝑺𝐀𝐈𝐎𝐌𝐀 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒 ✓

"𝕆𝕞𝕒-𝕜𝕦𝕟? 𝔾𝕒𝕪? 𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥?"

A short story for Kateryn_Howard

This is inspired by your request , and I hope you like it. Please forgive me for taking awhile to finish it.  ><

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"Oma-kun? Gay? What makes you say that?" Shuichi questioned curiously one morning. He and Miu Iruma , the Ultimate Inventor, had been eating breakfast one morning when Kokichi and Iruma got into a fight over what kind of shampoo Shuichi washed his hair with. Stupid fight; yes , but while the two made the detective uncomfortable with their opinions (mostly Kokichi's) on what 'scents' Saihara used in the shower,  Miu called Oma a 'gay little shota'(?) , leaving Shuichi in the middle of a very awkward fight when Kokichi stomped off after called Miu a perverted bītch.

How did Shuichi get into the middle of these things?

He just wanted to eat breakfast.

He hadn't even showered that morning! So why did the topic of him washing his hair with pantene or dove even matter!?

Answer: it didn't.

"I called him that because he is a gay little shota!" The blonde answered Shuichi's question after Oma left.

"Iruma-san, maybe you should apologize to Oma-kun. He seemed pretty mad--"

"I'm not saying a single shītty thing to that lying abortion!" She snapped back and stomped the floor with her large , heavy,  mechanical boot -- causing the detective to jump startled when the dining table shook.  "He deserved it." Miu added hotly. " He's always being a fūcking brat with good-for-nothing remarks just to stir me up!"

"Well, I can't deny Oma-kun does like to mess with people, but getting upset is giving him what he wants, and you shouldn't call him names. I'm sure you're better than that, Iruma-san--"  But he was cut off again by Miu who stood suddenly from the table.

"Names?" She questioned.  "Nah, it's the fūcking truth!" Miu insisted. "The lil pipsqeak is gay! Can't ya tell?! Plus he's totally shota! With that girly little face that just gives ya the creeps!..." Miu shuddered.

Shuichi scratched his pink cheek slightly, he furrowed his brows a bit.  "N-Not...not really..." he answered Miu's first question.  "I mean, I never really thought about it-  I mean, how can you even tell something like that ?" Shuichi asked confused, and was very much so.

"Ya just can! Especially when you're an expert about these things like me!" She exclaimed back and stood up from the table suddenly. "Aren't ya even a real detective!? Pretty fūcking slow on the uptake, huh." She retorted back with a cackle. "The perverted detective can't even figure out the simple things!"

Shuichi played with his hands under the table, and listened to Miu's words feeling his self-esteem lower quickly. Could he really not tell simple things like that? Was knowing something like Kokichi's sexual orientation that easy to notice? Was Shuichi 'slow on the uptake'?

"How 'bout this," Miu suddenly announced,  pointing a finger upwards as she spoke.  "I bet ya I can prove the pipsqueak's taste-- and if I do, you have to become my personal assistant for the rest of ya fūcking life! If you prove me wrong, then I'll-- I'll become...your personal assistant.." Miu muttered, her face flaring and heating. "I'll even..let you touch my--"

"F-Fine! Challenge...challenge accepted..!" Shuichi quickly answered before Miu could finish. He exhaled and felt his heart quicken. Honestly, Saihara didn't really care whether Kokichi was gay or not, but he knew if he refused to try and prove Miu wrong then she would never let it go. Besides, if Shuichi was lucky, since they were in a Killing Game, maybe he would die after this and not have to suffer as Miu's 'personal assistant' for life...