The Secret Life of Love

Loving Him, Her, & I

Loving others is an extension of loving yourself.

The definition of "esteem" is to hold a person in high regard.

You seek out opportunities to spend time with someone when you love this person. You want to protect this person from anything that would harm them. You believe this person deserves happiness.

You really like the way you feel when you are with that person, just thinking about him or her makes you smile.

The term self-esteem has been overused in our culture that it has lost its meaning. It's something for people to lay on a sofa and discuss with their therapist, but that doesn't affect most of us, does it?

Do you hold yourself in high regard?

Do you seek out opportunities to spend time with yourself?

Do you want to protect yourself from anything that would harm you?

Do you truly believe you deserve happiness?

Do you like the way you feel when you are alone with yourself?

Can you bring a smile to your face just by thinking about something you have accomplished?

Was that a bit harder? Did it feel silly or wrong for you to be asking yourself these questions?

I am talking about you, how you see the world, and how your environment changes and challenges you.

Self-esteem begins in childhood. This is where we first acquire our concepts of love and happiness, but it is also where we learn the concepts of fear, shame, and powerlessness. Childhood is where you formed many of your perceptions about the world around you. You learned how to react to the world, and in turn, how the world reacts to you.

A child does not have the logic necessary to process many of the events that occur in the world around them and often blame themselves when things go wrong. Many teenagers go through this.

A lot of voices in your head that tell you that you aren't good enough come from somewhere in your childhood, but that doesn't mean they have to stay there.

Self-help has nothing to do with blaming others, it is about taking responsibility for where you are today and where you are going tomorrow. The messages you have stored in your head comes from many places, and they are not positive. So go out and spend some time with yourself to love what you are.

Date yourself.

Show yourself the best side of yourself. Find out what you like and don't like without anyone comments in your head. Forget your worries and just have fun.

At the end of the night or day you spend by yourself, your self-respect will get stronger. Before you know it, it's the best date you have given yourself because it is from you.