the child that was blessed by the stars (hht x ysg)

tender

hao ting had fallen ill due to overworking himself to reach his goal. he acted weird towards shi gu before, rejecting the affection the smaller wanted to give him so badly. shi gu worried a lot when hao ting hadn't shown up at school. it wasn't like him at all. the other hadn't even texted him his whereabouts, so shi gu decided to check up on him at home. he was really scared to get kicked out before knowing how the other was doing. despite showing a lot of bravery in front of his boyfriend's parents, he still let his anxiety get to him, worrying what they would do if hao ting didn't make it, or worse, if they didn't keep their promise and still separated them after getting into college. 

it was a pleasant surprise to be greeted by hao ting's widely grinning mom. she shooed him inside instantly and asked him to look after her son, who had caught a fever, while she had to go out. yu shi gu agreed and was left with his very sweaty, but also very much attractive boyfriend. he suddenly felt the urge to touch him, let his hands run over the skin that the thin tank top wasn't able to cover up. scolding himself, he prevented himself from following any of his quite sinful thoughts and got a wet towel instead, to wipe the poor boy's sweat.

he felt incredibly bad for the other, as well as guilty for being part of the reason for him being sick. before he could leave the room to get a glass of water for the patient, a clam hand took a hold of his wrist, pulling him on the owner's lap in one swift motion. shi gu felt the need to scream at their close proximity, but instead tried to push his boyfriend back into a laying position: "you're sick, don't sit up!" his protests where wholeheartedly ignored and before he could react, his hands were pinned behind is back, hao ting coming up further and pressing their chests flush together. his breath was hot against shi gu's cheek, his skin unnaturally warm. everything was hot, and it was definitely not just the fever.  shi gu's protests got weaker and weaker, giving in to the sensation. then the taller had put his hand somewhere he hadn't dared to even dream about. he didn't know how, but it was even hotter there, almost pulsating. the air was thick around them, fogging their minds. shi gu couldn't get his rationality back, all he could do was feel, when his own belt was undone and hao ting started mimicking his movements. the other moaned lowly when their pace quickened. he felt his own neediness to voice his pleas, for the taller to go faster, to hold on tighter. the heat was unbearable, his own breathing got heavier. 

shi gu stared into his boyfriend's eyes while being touched like that and doing the same thing, his own lust reflecting in his lover's orbs. it felt so different from doing it himself, so much better. if he was honest, he had no clue what he was doing, but it seemed to work, hao ting shuddered in pleasure. he was pulled close once more, not a single piece of paper being able to fit in between them. breathing, feeling each other was what drove them over the edge. he left his boyfriend on the bed and ran home, the only ashamed thought in his head being that he didn't clean the other up and just left him alone while he was ill.

the next day, hao ting was in front of his door, regret about maybe forcing himself on the smaller visible in his eyes. shi gu's heart swelled at how cared for he felt. under his boyfriend's intense listening and heavy blushing on his part he explained that they hadn't done very much... just touched. hao ting apologized while hugging him from behind, even though there was nothing to be forgiven. he felt the muscles of the taller tensing up and relaxing as hao ting talked and felt so safe, so alive in the other's embrace, for the first time in his life. the knowledge of another human being that was so close to him, both physically and emotionally, star struck him once again. he had wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's broad shoulders tightly and wished for them to stay like this, just a little longer, until all his worries had subsided. he didn't voice his wish, it wasn't necessary, hao ting held him closer anyways. 

time passed and soon it was the day the university results were released. shi gu had been a nervous mess the entire morning while he was working. he didn't dare to call his boyfriend and ask for the result himself, he was too scared of the possible outcome. hao ting entered the store with his head hung low, not being able to look smaller in the eyes. anxiety bubbled up in shi gu's stomach, the air heavy with dread. all of a sudden a soft pair of lips were pressed on his. the smaller used all his mental strength not to give into his lover's kiss. if this one was supposed to be their last, he wanted the bad news to be out of the way first. he wanted hao ting to kiss him breathless, kiss him until he was a stuttering mess, unable to form a coherent sentence, but this wasn't the right time for it.

before he got lost in his lover, he pulled away. he asked for the result with obvious confusion and hao ting broke into a mischievous smile. "national central university! i got it!" he replied, apparently more proud of his prank than his achievement. shi gu couldn't hold back his smile anymore, this was exactly what he liked about the taller. he was pulled into a bone crushing hug, bathing in the other's warmth. the two were losing themselves in their own world until chi gang notified them of his presence. 

no one could separate them anymore from then on. only a month after the relieving news, hao ting proposed the idea of moving in together, while his now very much official boyfriend sat comfortably on his lap, looking for college classes. shi gu quickly turned around, standing up in the process. "l-living together?" he whispered, as if saying it out loud would make the taller retreat his statement and laugh at him. hao ting nodded and smiled softly. even after listening to shi gu's weak attempts of protesting, he kept smiling, carefully framing the smaller's face with his hands. he told him how long he had to wait to finally call him his and that was all it needed to convince shi gu. not that he ever disliked the idea of living with the other.

entranced by hao ting's presence, right in front of him, shi gu leaned in, capturing the taller's lips with his own. they started out softly, simply letting their mouths meet. feeling  the other's lips softly graze his forehead, shi gu relaxed into the embrace and let hao ting's hand trace down his back.

curious hands reached his bum, giving it a small squeeze and leaving immediately again. shi gu wanted to do the same, but he was afraid. he didn't know what to do with himself, with the other, with their connection. he felt as if he was ready to combust, so many emotions swirled around in his body. he felt the taller's burning touch, not able to do anything himself, and it scared. when hao ting's fingers brushed his sensitive part, he pushed himself out of his boyfriend's hold. he heard the nagging in the back of his head, that he was being too insecure, that hao ting would never do anything without him consenting, that he would always wait for him to get to the same level of awe regarding their sexual journey. he decided to push it down, anxiety lurking in the back of his mind, telling him hao ting must be crazy to love someone as scared as him. he didn't listen to either of the voices, postponing the discussion for another time. hao ting was understanding, as always, and still unknowing to the conflict the smaller was facing. 

the next time came in his tiny room after a very exhausting grocery tour. it was insanely hot this time of the year and his boyfriend had offered to help him, being the angel he was. shi gu had to get to work, so he decided to get changed from his sweaty shirt into a fresh one. first and foremost, he got hao ting a glass of water. when he came back with it, the taller had rid himself of his shirt, leaned against the bed frame in all his shirtless glory. shi gu gulped, before placing down the glass and turning back, to strip himself. putting on his widest shirt, he joined his boyfriend and looked away to avoid the other's hungry eyes. 

before he knew it, he was suddenly pulled onto hao ting's lap, the other surely liked doing so. shi gu chuckled and scolded him, asking what exactly he wanted to achieve with this. hao ting just stared at him, eyes full of affection and desire. when he was looked at like that, shi gu almost fully gave in to the other, letting him devour him. he felt himself getting hard, but once again unable to respond to the touch. 

all of a sudden, everything was simply too much. being this close, this in love with hao ting overwhelmed him. his heart hurt and it was getting hard to breathe. before it could go any further, he used all his force to push the taller away, a mixture of regret and relief rushing through him. he immediately bent down to see if he had hurt the other. he should've expected it, but didn't, when hao ting stopped him from coming closer. 

the next question broke shi gu's heavy heart: "are you afraid of me?"

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this is the most i've written so far for one chapter, but i always feel so intrigued with the emotion the two actors portray, so i could really imagine all the thoughts going through their heads.

this was also the most artsy i've ever described sexual interactions, hope you liked it, lol