Chapter 17

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"Let's play Nutcracker!"

Gabriel leans back in his seat — a nice little chair in the back of the live studio audience — with a smug smile. He'd thought Sam and Dean were confused when they stepped into a hospital, but that's got nothing on their expressions now after being teleported into fake-Japan for a fake Japanese game show. Sure, this whole experience is going to crush Gabriel's spirits and he may never fully recover, but he needs to enjoy the humor while it lasts.

The two men look around at their surroundings. Their eyes scan the room, taking in all the little torture contraptions they can see. The ball on a stick, the foot holders, the buzzer, the timer, everything. It's not entirely clear if it's sunk in yet when the host — a peppy little Japanese guy whom Gabriel adores — starts the show.

The host puts on an impressive display of Japanese before turning to Sam and pulling out some notecards from his jacket. "Sam Winchester."

Gabriel munches on his popcorn, grinning. This is gonna be good.

The host's question, though in Japanese so the Winchesters think this game is difficult, is actually very simple. What's the name of the demon that Sam chose over his own brother — and, in a less important sense in the grand scheme of things, that he chose over Gabriel?

"Countdown!" The host points at the timer, and the 20 begins descending, giving Sam just enough time to wiggle his way out of this if he starts thinking fast.

"What?" Sam glances at the countdown, then at his brother, helpless. "What am I supposed to say?"

"You think I know?" Dean says, just as confused as his brother.

Sam looks back at the host and stammers a desperate, "I don't understand Japanese!"

Yeah, he's not getting out of this one.

The host, being the ever-helpful bilingual man he is, repeats the question again in Japanese.

"Is he screwing with me?" Sam asks his brother before repeating, "I can't speak Japanese!" to the host, because that worked so well the first time.

The buzzer goes off, and the two little cheerleaders on the sides give their most dramatic sad faces.

The host gives a disappointed groan. Still speaking Japanese — this is a Japanese game show, after all — he says, "The answer is... Ruby!"

Sam doesn't seem too phased by the host bringing up her name because he just looks at Dean and gives a half-shrug, and Dean returns the same sentiment.

"I'm sorry, Sam Winchester," the host says.

"Sorry?" Sam repeats quickly. "Sorry for what?"

The host covers his mouth with his hand, and the entire audience, Gabriel included, laughs.

"Dean?" Sam says helplessly, and Dean just shrugs, unconcerned.

And then Sam gets hit in the balls, and the audience erupts into cheers and laughter. The look on Sam's face is priceless, and Dean's expression isn't much better. Sam grabs his crotch, and Gabriel instinctively wonders how inappropriate it would be to offer to kiss it to make it feel better before sending him off to Lucifer.

"Woah!" the host says, just as enthusiastic as the crowd. "Nutcracker!" He pumps his arm excitedly, just as he did when he entered the room. Personally, Gabriel finds it hilarious. The Winchesters do not.

As Sam continues groaning in pain, the instant replay appears on the screen so everyone gets to admire Sam's reaction to getting hit in the nuts. All Gabriel can think is that that's gotta hurt.

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