DEFECTED | cal kestis [1]✔️

viii. this isn't real

"Where am I?"

TN looked around her surroundings, everything black and ominous around her. It was deathly quiet and the ringing in her ears was almost deafening. She stepped forward, only to see a red lightsaber ignite in the dark. She could make out the black armored uniform of an Inquisitor in the blood red light.

"Where am I?" She asked again, her eyes narrowed and her body going into a fighting stance.

The Inquisitor walked toward her, the tip of their red lightsaber sparking against the floor from dragging it. TN started to panic slightly as she backed into something solid. She froze when the familiar robotic breathing was behind her.

"TN-0237, you have betrayed the Empire." The haunting voice of Darth Vader spoke to her as he rested his hand on her shoulder and towered over her. TN breathed heavily as her jaw trembled from the pure terror coursing through her body. The Inquisitor stopped a few feet in front of her. The girl could make out the masculine figure of the individual in front of her.

Her surroundings came to light now, the Stormtrooper recognizing where she was. She had only been here a few times, and it was when she was delivering Jedi fugitives or Rebels to the Second Sister and Ninth Sister. She was in Fortress Inquisitorus, and she now realized the place frightened her more than the Sith Lord currently gripping her shoulder. She recognized the torture chamber. This was where the Empire made Inquisitors and trained Purge Troopers.

"And now, you have betrayed your friends."

TN stepped away from Darth Vader, her eyes looking down at her broken, battered Stormtrooper armor and at the change of scenery around her. Now she was standing in the midst of a village being destroyed and an Inquisitor was fighting against a group of rebels in front of her. It was the same one from moments before.

The moment his helmet came off, TN was in shock and horror. The boy's familiar blue gray eyes were now cold and emotionless; his red hair hung over his scarred face from it being disturbed from its resting place; and that smile...that smile terrified her.

"You did this, TN-0237. You made me into this and I want to thank you."

"No, no! This...This isn't real. It's only a dream." She backed away from him. "This isn't real!" TN cried as she put her hands over her ears and fell to her knees.

"This is real, Stormtrooper!" Cal shouted at her as he walked forward, his lightsaber sparking and hissing as he dragged it along the ground. "And you you're going to live with it for the rest of your life!"

As if it was slow motion, Cal raised his lightsaber above his head and started to bring it down on her. TN squeezed her eyes shut, tears streaming down her soot and blood covered face as awaited the strike of his weapon.

"THIS ISN'T REAL!"

Again, her surroundings changed, but this time, she was in a forest. Her armor was no longer on her, but she was wearing the black long sleeved shirt, the tight pants, and black boots which went underneath the armor. Over her shirt was a white poncho, and it definitely was not hers.

The forest around her seemed surreal. The trees and flore glowed in the night, making her smile and happily pluck a glowing flower. Small glowing creatures fluttered down to her. They were like lizards, except they were smooth and slimy. Most of them glowed purple or green with the occasional red and white. A smile appeared on her tear stained face as she let the small creatures land on her hands.

"I told you you would like it here."

She looked up to see Cal approach her, his usual poncho not on him--TN realized the poncho she wore was his--and a soft smile was on his face. TN chuckled as she wiped her face and gently pet the small slimy creature on her hand.

"You okay?" He asked when he noticed the solemn expression her face.

"If I'm being honest, no."

She looked at him, knowing this was a dream, but everything felt like it was actually happening to her. The Cal in front of her was only a figment of her imagination. She was making this up; confiding in something which did not exist. Everything around her was her imagination or something from an old memory she had forgotten long ago.

Cal leaned back on his hands and waited for TN to elaborate. She looked at him and chuckled humorlessly.

"I'm a screwup, Kestis. Everything I've done or tried to be...it's always backfired. I betray the Empire and the response I get is being written off as untrustworthy. I try to help the Rebels and I'm told I can't because I'm still a Stormtrooper. I try to be a new person but I'm nameless and last. I don't know what to do."

She looked at him, her eyes welling with tears and a bitter smile was on her face. Cal sat up straight and put his hand on her shoulder in a comforting way.

"I don't know what to do, Cal." She whispered to him again as she wiped her eyes.

"Maybe you can start by becoming friends with the real Cal. You can see he wants to help you, TN."

"What if I mess up the chance to ally myself with him?"

"TN." He said firmly and gently grabbed her chin to have her look at him. "It's not an alliance or peace accord. Friendships can start off messy or without any hope of getting better. All you need to do is let Cal see he can trust you and let yourself trust him. And maybe let your hate toward the Jedi be erased through him?"

She stood up from the ground, Cal doing the same and hugging her. He gave her a smile before walking away from her.

"Till next time, TN-0237."

+

TN sat up from her bed when she heard a rough knock on her door, sweat covering her forehead and back from the intensity of her dream.

"TN? You awake?" Cal's voice came from the other side and she hastily got out of bed. She wiped her forehead with a soft towel before changing out of her sweaty clothes and into a dark green and brown tunic and black cargo pants. She put on her muddy boots and went to open her door. Cal almost hit her from not paying attention because he was about to knock again.

"Hey, uh, we're on Kashyyyk. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me and liberate some Wookies?" Cal said awkwardly as she leaned on the door frame.

TN felt awkward around him since she basically confided in an imaginary version of him in her dreams. But the amount of guilt and pain she felt when she saw him as an Inquisitor made her feel horrible.

"Are you sure?"

The girl could tell Cal was taken aback by her question. She could see his confusion and and questions surfacing in his head.

"I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't sure." Cal chuckled as BD-1 beeped to her. TN nodded and grabbed her backpack.

"All right. Let's go free some Wookies."