Ted the tubby

Once upon a time

There once was a knight named Ted. Well okay so technically he wasn't a knight yet. He was an apprentice of a knight named Sir Bryan the Brave and Courageous of Ireland. As I'm sure you can imagine, Sir Bryan the Brave and Courageous of Ireland was a knight of legend. He had slain many a monster and saved many a maiden. The entire kingdom honored him and he was revered as a great hero. As for Ted, well... not so much. You see Ted had a problem. He liked food. And he liked it a lot.

After a very long while Ted's mother decided it was high time for Ted to do something with his life, so he was sent off to be Sir Bryan the Brave and Courageous of Ireland's apprentice. However Ted had grown rather fat from all his food, and knights are normally strapping young fellows. Sir Bryan the Brave and Courageous of Ireland was having a hard time training him. A very hard time.

"No Ted!" Sir Bryan the Brave stomped over and straightened his young apprentice's sword for the fifteenth time. "Hold it like this. No Ted! Like this!" Ted made a face. "I'm trying Sir Bryan." "Obviously not hard enough!" Ted frowned. He really was trying but the hot sun made it hard to focus. And he was tired . He was always tired.

Sir Bryan the Brave swung his sword with ease. Sir Bryan the Brave always seemed to look majestic in some way, maybe it was the way his silky black hair flew in the wind or maybe it was his shining dark eyes or maybe it was just his muscles bulging under his armor. But whatever the reason, Sir Bryan the Brave's presence dwarfed Ted's into nothing. The apprentice could fight badly, speak simply, and tire quickly. His armor had to be remade to fit over his belly and his arms always hung limply at his sides. His dull brown hair and sheepish smile never seemed to please any girls either, but Sir Bryan the Brave's pearly whites sent them flying.

Speaking of girls, there was a rather large group of them milling around the field where Sir Bryan the Brave and Ted were practicing swordplay. They were very distracting. Ted wished they would stop watching the practice of his teacher constantly reprimanding him and go back to talking about shoes or whatever it is that girls do, but they remained. Sir Bryan the Brave cast them smiles now and then.

"That's getting annoying." Ted said when he did it for the millionth time. Sir Bryan the Brave cast him a cool glance. "Ted concentrate on yourself please. Opening stance." Ted groaned. "Can't I just go home now?" The sun behind Ted had just dipped behind the hills turning the sky the same darkish blue as his eyes. The stars would be out soon.

Sir Bryan the Brave crossed his arms. "Oh fine. But don't come tomorrow, I'll be on a quest." Ted's heart leapt in his chest. "Can I go on this one, Sir Bryan?" Ted eagerly asked. You see, despite Ted's setbacks, he did really want to be a knight. It seemed like a very interesting profession.

Sir Bryan the Brave shook his head. "No Ted, leave this one to me." "But I leave all of them to you!" Ted insisted. "Please just one? It'll really boost my moral!" Sir Bryan the Brave slid his armor over his head and replaced it with a coat of worn leather. His stable boy appeared on the horizon riding Sir Bryan the Brave's white horse, Barrus, and carrying Lewis, Ted's cat. As he slowly approached, Sir Bryan the Brave sighed. "Ted, you just aren't good enough yet." "Yes I am!" Ted almost yelled. "Please?" Lewis tumbled into Ted's arms and the stable boy moved to allow Sir Bryan the Brave on Barrus. "I said no Ted! And what I say goes!" Ted watched his teacher speed away followed by the group of girls. "Figures." He mumbled, before turning to go home.