It took another month before I could gather up enough courage to take my usual route again. It was the route that required me to walk past the Halls of Residence Fourteen on the way back to my own dorms. I'd been taking detours so that I wouldn't have to pass by Brown Eyes' block and risk running into him, but it was raining heavily that day and I didn't have any energy to take the longer route. Besides, I reasoned, the chances of running into him in this rain were close to none.
He'd once told me he hated being out in the rain. I could understand why. He was the sunshine kind of boy.
Therefore, I was understandably horrified when I rounded the corner and saw him standing outside the gates of Hall Fourteen. He was by the lamppost I'd hidden behind that very first day I'd followed him back to his dorms. I was considering going back round the corner and heading another way when he turned and caught sight of me.
He made no move to acknowledge my existence, just stood staring. Hardening myself against the way my heart had started thumping, I put one foot in front of the other until I was an arm's length away from him.
He continued to stare unsmilingly.
Well, this was awkward. I winced at the chilly reception I was receiving. I probably deserved it, considering my last words to him.
I would speak to him, I decided, and if he didn't reply, I would leave.
"What are you doing out in the rain like that?"
His reply was slow in coming, but it came. "Thinking."
I couldn't hide my disbelief. "I thought you hated the rain?"
He stared at me but didn't respond. I shifted awkwardly, "You want my umbrella?"
"No."
"What's with the one-word answers?" It wasn't like him to be so sullen. Against my will, I was starting to worry.
He shrugged.
I couldn't stand this anymore. "Look, I'm sorry for what I said the last time. I didn't mean it. I was just..." I couldn't possibly admit that I had been jealous of Irene. He was suddenly looking at me with more interest than before. I changed the subject.
"How's..." I choked on the next word. Hoping it hadn't been too obvious, I cleared my throat and tried again. "How's Irene?"
He was silent for so long that I almost thought he wasn't going to reply. Just as I was getting ready to walk off, he said lowly, "We broke up."
I almost fell over in shock. "Oh. I'm sorry." His standing out in the rain made sense now. He was probably heartbroken. I felt so bad for him that I couldn't find it in me to feel happy that he was single again.
He was looking at me steadily. "Is that all you have to say?"
"What are you talking about?" What else did he expect me to say? Was he trying to blame his break-up on me?
He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Never mind. I just thought... you... never mind." He turned away.
I watched him go. Or at least, I'd thought he was going to leave, but after a couple of steps he swung back around and fixed me with a blazing glare. He looked like he'd just thought of something that had pissed him off and resolved his determination at the same time.
"You. Listen." He spoke harshly, stabbing a finger in my direction. I stared. His hair was drenched and hanging limply in his eyes – those beautiful eyes that were now darkened with anger – and he was apparently about to unleash his full wrath on me, but the only thing I was thinking about in that moment was that he could still make my heart beat faster even when he looked like a drowned rat. And that he was going to catch a cold if he stayed out in the rain like that.
I took a step forward. "You want my umbrella?" I offered again, holding out said object.
He ignored me. It seemed that whatever he wanted to get off his chest was more important than getting out of the rain. "You," he said. "You are the total opposite of my dream girl."
"Did you really just say opposite?" I asked, in an unimpressed way. He would never have guessed that inside, my heart was breaking all over again. "Methinks someone's taken one too many thesis papers to the head."
"And you say crazy stuff all the freaking time," he added, looking at me pointedly. "You are so random. You never stop talking. You drive me insane! And you're so fickle – you go around stalking any guy who happens to be attractive enough to catch your interest. Who cares if someone has pretty eyes or amazing headphones? You're so superficial!"
It was like a dam had suddenly burst. The transition from his few-syllabic replies to this stream of accusations was so sudden, it shocked me.
I slowly retreated my hand until the underside of the umbrella was touching the top of my head. That way, he wouldn't be able to see how close I was to tears. It was fine if he didn't like me. He didn't have to go all nasty like that.
Maybe I had been superficial. Maybe I'd only been attracted to him because of his beautiful eyes and brilliant smile – at first. But as the days had gone by and I'd gotten to know more about him, what I'd fallen for was his personality. He could have freakish rainbow-colored eyes for all I cared – I would still feel the same way about him.
I turned around and made to leave. I didn't have to stand here listening to the boy I liked insult me to my face.
"And you're always running away," he continued behind me, his voice softening now. "Whenever something bad happens, your policy is to escape first, think later. When will you learn that you can't keep running forever? Maybe if you stick around till the end, for once, something good might happen."
I whirled around, now angry enough to be uncaring of the tears in my eyes. "What the hell!" I shouted at him. "Just because you got dumped doesn't give you the right to come here and lecture me on my flaws! So I'm not perfect like your dream girl, okay, and I'm sorry for that! I'll leave you alone, okay? You won't have to see me ever again!"
He was glaring at me. It seemed to be the only reaction I was capable of getting out of him since I'd run into him that afternoon. "What the hell are you talking about!" He snapped. I turned around again, but this time he moved fast enough to push himself in front of me, into the small space under my umbrella. Well, not exactly under, because he was too tall for it to fit directly over his head.
Even so, he was still close enough to make me freeze up.
"You're running away again," he said, in a lower tone of voice. He took the umbrella from me, holding it up higher so that the spokes wouldn't poke him in the eye.
"What are you..."
"I didn't get dumped," he interrupted. I was about to congratulate him and make a run for it when he continued, "I broke up with Irene."
