Hetalia One-Shots

hetaliaXreader (songfic)

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You snickered at the song you were about to choose to sing, you might be hated for singing this, but it would be worth it, and you have absolutely no regrets.

You giggled when the song started to play. The happy tune started to play.

"Y'know, I always thought that stereotypes were kinda ridiculous, So I wrote a song and it, and it goes a little bit something like this.."

Austria groans, he's heard this song thousands of times because you forced him to listen to it. He always said that it was a 'disgrace to music'.

"I think I love you more, than the Japanese love tentacle porn And we should Dance Dance Dance, to these stereotypes~" you pointed over at Japan, who was now blushing furiously and attempting to hide behind a chair.

"Let's come together, to live in this world like a , unibrow on an Indian girl. And we should Dance Dance Dance to these stereotypes~"

India then blushed a deep shade of red, mumbling 'I don't have a unibrow' as she sunk down into her seat.

"I love those fat Americans. You know their so obnoxious, they always eating burgers. They always holding shotguns."

America then glanced up from his burger, "IM NOT OBNOXIOUS! Wait- ENGLAND WHAT DOES OBNOXIOUS MEAN?!" England then face palmed "your a bloody idiot, America."

You roll your eyes and continue to sing; "And I love Mexicans, the way they mow my lawn. They all got 100 kids 'cause they don't know how to put a condom on."

Mexico then joined the corner of shame with India, and Japan.

"Uh-huh! 'Cause that's the way they roll. You've got to go big like an Israeli nose."

Israel then shoots a glare at you, " I do not have a big nose!!" He yells.

"If you ever buy a pint for an Irish guy, and they're out of control like a Chinese driver~"

Ireland then grins and holds up the beer that he was drinking. While China was about to go outside and drive his car into the room, but thankfully, Russia, calmed him down.

"I love the Middle East but how do they handle, rockin' burkas while they're riding camels"

Egypt then nodded, thankful that his country wasn't dissed.

"I love Jamaicans, yeah they're cool, but they always high, so don't let them fool ya!"

Jamaica then walked over to the corner of shame, "it was only that one time.." He mumbled.

"And I love them Puerto Ricans, even though they wash their ass about one a weekend."

Puerto Rico then frowned, and walked into the bathroom.. To go wash his hands.. For the first time in that week..

"I'm just joking, if you didn't know then your a little slow and your probably from Poland~" you then wink over at Poland who was slow to yell "HEYY!!! RUDE MUCH?"

You then start to giggle. "I think I love you more, than the Japanese love tentacle porn. And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes~ Let's come together, and live in this world like a, unibrow on an Indian girl, and we should dance dance dance to theses stereotypes~ Aw yeah- let me hear you yell if you love the outback redneck Australians!"

A 'whoop' then comes from Australia's seat. Who was proud to be a redneck, but a very attractive redneck.

"And the crooked ass teeth of an English dude. And those creepy Italians who think their smooth."

England then covered his mouth, "m-my teeth aren't crooked!!"
Italy was now crying into Germany's shoulder, while Romano wanted to punch you for saying that he was 'creepy' also for making his little brother cry, but Spain was holding him back.

"And how could anyone hate the French, yeah I know their hairy women don't shave their pits."

France then puts a hand onto his chest, acting like he's been shot, "the women in my country are beautiful! Unlike the girls in China~" he then grins.

"Brazilian girls are what you want, walking around town with that ba-dunk-a-dunk."

Brazil blushes, and covers her chest, "T-That's not true! I don't even have a big chest!"

"I love Africans but hold up a second- national geographic says their all butt-naked. Breasts hanging low, what have they done with their clothes? They've disappeared like coke up a Colombians nose~"

The African countries all form a sweat drop at how they all just realized what National geographic was doing. While Colombia was *conevntly* blowing his nose.

"Uh-oh! You're all on my checklist, even Russian guys who drink vodka for breakfast."

Russia then happily pulls put multiple jars of vodka our of his pocket.

"They're stereotypes, and if you believe them, then your brain is small like a Korean penis"

Korea blushes, sinking into his chair while at it.

"I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn, and we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes~ let's come together and live in this world, like a unibrow on an Indian girl, and we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes~"

You then grin and you pull Scotland up onto the stage where you were standing, you knew he was going to kill you for the next thing you were going to sing.

"I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep [x4]" you take a small step backwards as Scotland glares at you and starts to slowly walk towards you. "They hump sheep~[x3]" you then jump onto a table, Scotland was still walking towards you though. Every country was now clapping along to the beat.

"I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn, and we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes~" you say, pointing at Scotland, to make him stop walking towards you, but he's still walking angrily towards you. "Let's come together, and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl, and we can dance dance dance to these stereotypes."

You then finish and you look over at Scotland who was now about 3 inches away from your face.

"The only person I'll be 'humping' is you."

"STHAP IT SCOTLAND YUR DRUNK." Yells the writer as she busts into the room.

"OH MY GOD! YOU BROKE THE FOURTH WALL! " yells 2p! England who appeared on a unicorn.

Pop tarts then start flying down from the heavens and big-ass trees appear from no where. THE END then starts to float up in front of you and Scotland.

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{I NEEDED TO WRITE A CRACK CHAPTER BCAUSE I NEED SLEEP.}