" ... I think that was my problem, I felt everything entirely too deeply. A simple gesture was never simple, it always meant the world to me. Anyone can walk through the door and whisper a soft hello in my ear and I would still hear a loud welcome h...
Every passing day feels like a repetition of every other day.
You're tired. You think it's because you might be getting sick or maybe you don't give your body the proper rest. But the truth is you're just tired of reality. Your bones feel weak and your mind feels heavy because you want to get out of the expected. You want to fly to the moon and bring a piece of it with you. You want to fly to the sky at night and steal a star to light up your heart when it gets dark. Do you ever forget to breathe because you feel like you're not really living, and your mind is always being swallowed by fear...
So yeah, I am afraidI'mafraidofmyself.
Lately everything about me seems so wrong. I've started having drastic mood swings. One moment I'm so sad I can't take the pain anymore. The next I'm laughing like I'm invincible. Like I can do anything. I don't know what this is. I've never felt like that before. Before it was a never ending labyrinth of pain and numbness. And now a hysterical invincibility keeps hurting the depth of my heart. But couldn't I be born normal? Without too many expectations. Without too many dreams. Without wanting to get out of the box. Without wanting to change the world. Without wanting to feel free. Could I not be born in the trap too? It would have been simpler. The worst part is when that feelings with ANXIETY,EMPTINESS,MESS AND SELF-HURTING goes away. I miss the days where I always felt sad. At least I could rely on that feeling.
Now I don't know what's going on with me. I'mafraid. I'm tired of trying to explain how I feel...
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