A Bit More Time...Just a Little Bit More

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Eddy
What did the doctor say? Is everything alright?
I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you today - my sister just came back to Australia

Brett
No worries. It's all good - just hay fever.
Say hi to her for me!

Eddy
Are you sure? I could come over tonight
Your blacked out yesterday - are you sure everything is good?

Brett
Apparently too much stress which led to the blackout, lol
I'm really fine
No need to come over

As Brett clicked on the 'send' button, he turned his phone on silent, and flopped down on his bed.

'Eddy...it is impossible not to think about you. You are my best friend...you are irreplaceable in my life...I can't...lose all of my feelings for you...' Brett whispered to himself, followed by another fit of coughing.

'It's getting worse...oh Eddy, when did I start having feelings for you?' Brett murmured as he drifted off into a dream. A flashback of the day his heart began to beat a different rhythm.

***

"We're sorry; we did everything we could." The surgeon walked out, shaking his head.

"Why? Why? She was perfectly fine! She was so healthy! Why?" Brett's father, Mr Yang yelled as tears began to run down his face.

"Mrs Yang has not done a brain CT in a while, which explains the unexpected brain tumor. What caused it to suddenly burst was probably due to stress and shock of the news of her Father dying," The surgeon explained sadly.

Brett stood there, his brain numb to everything that the surgeon had just explained. It was impossible. It was impossible. How could it be...losing two family members the dearest to him in one day. Grandpa...Mum...

Brett collapsed onto his knees, and felt hot tears run down his cheeks. His glasses began to get foggy. His vision began to get blurry. His head began to feel heavy.

Grandpa...Mum...why?

"Brett! Brett!"

A voice startled Brett, and he opened his eyes in an unfamiliar room.

"Here, your glasses."

"Eddy?" Brett registered the younger boy with tear streaks smudged over his face sitting by his hospital bed. "What are you doing here"

"Brett you collapsed after you just lost..." Eddy's voice cracked, and tears began welling up in his eyes again, "We were so worried..."

Brett's eyes were dull, the usual sparkles in them gone, "I'm alright," He said in a voice so cold it did not sound his anymore.

Eddy jumped at his coldness, "Brett..."

Brett interrupted, "I'd like some private time."

"...As you wish," Eddy left the room remorsefully.

Being alive has never felt so empty. What is the meaning to me being alive? What goodness is there left of staying alive? What is this void in my heart, in my soul? Pain. I am supposed to feel pain. Why do I feel no pain? WHY?

Brett's inner thoughts began to consume him. His head was feeling like a jumbled mess. A thousand. A million. No, more, voices were screaming inside his head. He gripped his forehead tightly, as if that would help ease the noise.

'Pain...pain...I need...pain...' he mumbled in a trance as he walked towards the window in his hospital room.

"Bars? Why are there bars here? Damn it! Why does everything have to be in my way!" He began to yell as he felt desperation arouse inside him.

At that moment, Eddy rushed in.

"Brett! What on Earth are you doing?" Eddy was petrified at the sight in front of him. Brett was standing on the windowsill, violently shaking the bars on his window. So frail. As if the wind was able to carry him away.

The taller boy rushed over to the window, and carried Brett down despite punches, and yelling. The nurses heard this commotion and came rushing in too.

Eddy looked up, and asked the nurses, "Is it possible to give him something to help him sleep? I think...the trauma and sadness has hit him too hard..."

The nurses nodded, and forced some medication down Brett's throat. Soon, he began to quieten down, and fell into deep sleep once again.

The next morning when Brett awoke again, he felt slightly better than last night. Oh heavens. What had I done? Brett's eyes closed as he remembered the reckless actions he had attempted to do.

"Brett? You woke up?" Eddy's head lifted up from the side of Brett's bed upon hearing some noise.

Brett eyes drifted down, "I'm so sorry for the trouble I caused last night...I..."

Eddy pulled him into a close embrace before Brett could finish his words, "Why are you apologizing? None of it was your fault. A psychologist will be having some sessions with you for a little while before you feel better again."

"My Dad...where is he?" Brett suddenly remembered.

"He fainted last night when he saw you collapse on the floor - probably from the fear that he was going to lose you too. He's now buying some breakfast downstairs," Eddy smiled.

"Thank you, Eddy...I...you...you rescued me...thank you...thank you," Brett's eyes began to water up, and he took his glasses to wipe them.

"That's what best friends are for, right?" Eddy smiled.

***

Brett jolted awake from his dream of the incident two years ago. Since that incident, Brett began to feel something more than platonic for Eddy.

Little by little, it grew.

Until flowers began to bloom in his chest.

'Best friends...that's right...he never thought of me anything more than that...I have sinned. I have romantic feelings for a male. My best friend.' Brett mumbled as he recalled the last sentence that Eddy had said before the dream ended.

Coughs, more coughs.

Brett began to cry as he choked over the toilet seat, "Please, just give me a bit more time...I need only a little bit more..."

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