A Woman of Honour

Chapter 5

'Helen,' he said softly, as she felt herself drift back to consciousness, 'wake up.'

Helen opened her eyes and smiled sleepily at him. A glow of warmth that began deep inside her core began to seep through the rest of her body, as she remembered the delightfully satisfying climax to their lovemaking. She nuzzled closer to him and pressed her body against his and savoured the gentle sensual heat that rippled through her. She knew that it must be time for them to leave, but she wanted to prolong the moment. She wanted to feel, once more, that moment of ecstasy, when her body and mind had been at one as the intense pleasure of her release had erupted through her.

She began to caress the hairs on his chest, tracing the lines of his muscle down past his waist. As she felt him respond, she reached up and kissed him. She did not feel the same urgency as earlier and was happy to let passion and desire creep up slowly. It would allow her to savour every deliciously glorious sensation that was pulsating through her.

As she deepened the kiss, her hand continued to explore his body. She felt his ardour grow with every teasing touch, and it gave her great pleasure to feel the physical effect she was having on him. Helen was beginning to lose herself again when he stopped kissing her, and she felt him withdraw from her embrace.

He stood up and walked over to his discarded clothes and began to dress. As he walked towards the window, tieing his cravat loosely around his neck, she felt the dull ache of disappointment start to gnaw away at her.

She knew there was something catastrophically wrong. Helen sat up and wrapped the blanket loosely around her shoulders and rather than look at him, she stared at the glowing embers of the dying fire.

They were frozen in that position for several minutes. In the ensuing silence, Helen could hear him taking slow, deliberate breaths and knew that he was taking control of himself. But why? She had thought that a man of Huntingdon's reputation would have been more than willing to make love to her. After all, she was not a young, innocent lady fresh from the schoolroom, she was a widow; an experienced woman of the world. She thought that he knew the rules of the game. Indeed, she had played it many times herself.

When he had eventually spoken to her, to her surprise, he had apologised. He had even said that he had dishonoured her and he had to make amends. And then, after his unexpected apology, he had asked her to marry him.

Helen was now beginning to realise why he had withdrawn from her, despite of her blatant invitation. She had believed all the gossip Lady Helford had told her about the countless beautiful women he had seduced. When she had seen him looking incredibly handsome in the drawing-room the previous evening, dressed formally in black and white, he even looked the part. But, underneath the polished, elegant, carefree exterior, he portrayed to the world, he was not like that at all. He was honourable, and he had offered her his hand because he had thought he had wronged her. "Foolish man," she thought bitterly.

Helen had to put an end to this madness. A marriage between them would be out of the question. If he found out what she had done in Spain, and he would find out, he would be disgusted. And, of course, there was the promise she had made Haverstock. He had told her that one day, he would come and expect payment. And, on that day, she would have no choice but to fulfil it, whether she was married or not; he would not care.

The only thing she could think to do was to make him hate her. She had to convince him that she was a woman of no morals. She had to make him so angry that he would feel no guilt about what they had done and would withdraw the offer of marriage.

Firstly, she shocked him with the language that ladies in her position would never dream of using. She had told him that she had been driven by her own lust and that she had used him only as a conduit to satisfy her own carnality. Then, to shock him even further, she had made it sound like he was just another man she had used for her own sexual gratification.