SELENOPHILE;; khr.

01

❝ she's an angel, i'm telling you. ❞

—

good cook

feat. the food poisoned maids

—

“uhm..? you want me to do what?”

lussuria only laughed, “pretty please, honey? all of our maids coincidentally took a day off so we currently don't have anyone who can cook.”

you bit your lip in worry, “what? are they sick?” belphegor snickered, “the princess is such a worrywart.”

you brushed belphegor's comment off and turned to lussuria, “if they all had a day off then how about you? i know you can cook, mama luss. and a good one at that.”

lussuria could literally die out of joy when you complimented him. “oh but you see, you've never cooked for us before and we wanted to know what your food tastes like.” he said as you turned to belphegor and the others sitting on the couch (surprisingly quiet).

‘well, i never did because i don't know how to...’

you wanted to turn them down but they were looking at you expectantly. so you ended up agreeing.

—

“voi! where's that stupid boss?!”

squalo slammed a fist on the table. all of them were already on their seats, waiting for the food to be served by you AND for their boss.

“captain, we won't be able to eat y/n's food if you end up breaking the table.” fran stated with his blank face. squalo gritted his teeth, “you–”

“is boss still in his office?”

your gentle voice silenced the boys, you only let out a quiet chuckle. taking their silence as a yes, you untied your apron and gave a small smile, “i'll call him. please wait until then, everyone.”

lussuria let out a breath of satisfaction (and relief??), “an angel, i'm telling you.”

everyone only nodded in agreement.

—

you knocked on the (dreaded) door twice, letting your presence known. you received a rough grunt as a response and quietly opened the door.

you felt a pair of eyes watch you as you pushed the door close and faced the (dreaded) man sitting in front of you.

“boss,” you smiled softly, xanxus didn't budge. “it's time for dinner.”

the way to the dining hall was silent between the two of you, not that xanxus was complaining; he was a man who only talked when he wanted to, and to someone worth talking to– and no, he wasn't saying you weren't, it was just that he knew you were a quiet woman. saying that you loved silence was an understatement. but–

“i was the one who made dinner today.” you said with a smile, not looking at the man trailing slightly behind you. “mama luss said all the maids suddenly took a day off... do you think they're okay?”

– but for some reasons, he noticed that you seem to talk more when you were with them– varia. and if he squint his eyes, he could say you talked the most when you're with xanxus. though he doesn't know why.

but it doesn't annoy him, to his surprise.

“hmn.” xanxus only let out a grunt as a response (mostly bc he doesn't really care about the maids ;-;), but you were happy at the acknowledgment.

it wasn't long before the two of you arrived at the dining hall. xanxus raised a brow when he saw the guys acting the most normal he's ever seen.

he sat on his seat (the middle ofc ;-;) and raised a brow at the food you had just served in front of him with a (somewhat nervous) smile. “erm... i tried my best...” you murmured, confidence melting (which bugged xanxus).

they waited til you finally sat on your seat before looking down on their plates. you watched as they stared with awe, “don't... expect too much.” you whispered as belphegor snickered, “it looks good, princess. worthy for a prince.”

you only giggled, taking in more pride on the food you made. “really? i'm honoured.” you rested your cheek on your palm with a grin.

“dear, are you not gonna eat again?” lussuria asked with a frown as you only smiled, “i don't need to, mama luss. it's fine, i already feel full watching you guys eat.” (u sound like a mom here aww)

and then you watched them take a spoonful.

you watched them freeze.

the table was silent and the boys were turning green (levi turned purple ohmyghod). you widened your eyes and tensed, “what? what happened?”

xanxus glared, “what the–” he was taken aback when a foot kicked him from under the table. lussuria sent him a warning look (smth he rarely does) and mouthed, “don't.”

aah, right.

a few days ago, they found you in the kitchen wearing an apron while holding a cooking book in the middle of the night. the maids were also awake and it seemed like they were volunteering on being your taste tester (“we'd be honoured to be the taste tester, miss y/n!” “eh? are you sure? you don't have to if you don't want to...” “no, we insist! you've been so good to us, we'd like to repay you as much as we can!”).

they've been wondering why their food supplies has been depleting and it turns out it was because you were practicing cooking.

xanxus sighed, trying to swallow the inedible food that he very much wanted to spit out. he eyed the others who he guessed were the same as him before landing his gaze upon you.

“how is it? as i thought, i shouldn't have–”

“... it's good.” xanxus grunted as lussuria heaved a breath of relief. “really? but you guys don't look–” belphegor snickered, “stupid princess, if the boss says it's good then it's good.”

you only pursed your lips as you turned to squalo who you expect would be honest to you, “... squalo..?”

“voi! shut up and let us eat!” squalo yelled as he took another spoonful of ‘food’. you took it as a compliment and smiled shyly as fran tried to stay stoic, “captain, you might choke if you eat so fast.” squalo only shot him a glare (‘the faster i eat, the less i suffer.’).

“aah, levi, should i get you more water?” you asked and stood, as levi tried to shake his head but you were already gone.

“i wanna die.” fran stated as everyone silently agreed. varia has never felt so tortured than right now.