geed | clairo

five

i woke up significantly earlier and in a better mood than i did saturday. the night was nothing out of the ordinary: j.d. came over to our dorm, the only surprise being that he was sporting a clean-shaven face for the first time in months. spencer expertly rolled sam's blunts for him and let him spend the night at our place. if i listened closely to them, i could hear how their breathing patterns were beginning to synchronize while they were sleeping together.

i grabbed my phone and unplugged it from the charger and checked my texts.

jesse stewart: zane's a fucking idiot, he stuck his balls in the ice tray of the fridge in the house

jesse stewart: that pledge with the curly hair didn't know and put some of the ice to in his beer

jesse stewart: now the other pledges are calling him ice pube lol

georgia smith: come over to my dorm tomorrow night :)

georgia smith: i wanna study wit u

lara holland: hey i can pick up at 3 today and do ur portrait then

lara holland: if ur not busy

brady field: is it hazing if i make pledges wash my clothes?

somehow, spencer, sam and i had the most normal night even though we hung out with fucking  j.d. maybe we discovered a new glitch in the patchwork of the universe.

i replied to lara's texts first, considering she was the  most reasonable.

i knew if i ended up studying with georgie, it would just end in either the two of us actually studying but with an odd tension in the room or some sexual act being performed. i couldn't shake my nerves about her. i was supposed to like her: she was pretty, funny, smart and interested in me.

it was almost like someone had written it somewhere, in a self-determination type of way. whoever created the manifest destiny for new orleans university included a provision that i go out with georgie, bring her to my fraternity events, have casual sex with her and eventually ask her to be my girlfriend. then we would date for the rest of our undergrad years and get jokes about when and where we're holding our wedding, then we start a blissful life together and have kids who would do the same exact thing as we did.

but i didn't like her. in a romantic way, of course. she was everything i wanted in a friend, someone i wanted to root for and have them do the same for me. she was someone i wanted the best for, someone who deserved everything she wanted. but i couldn't give her the only thing she truly wanted from me.

i put on the first pair of jeans i saw without any stains on them and shoved my foot into a pair of adidas that were right underneath my bed. i figured i might as well keep on the t-shirt i wore to bed last night and i looked at my phone again to see another text from lara.

lara holland: i can pick u up in ten minutes actually, if u can make it

lara holland: had a change of plans

me: just hmu when ur here

i hopped inside of lara's volkswagen and put my seatbelt on, right before looking at her. she was wearing double denim: a blue jean jacket with black jeans, paired with a yellow sublime t-shirt. travis scott was playing softly from her car radio, something from rodeo if i had to guess.