Sander sides Angst (Started 4/29/2020)

Visions

"Hey Lo? Would you mind helping me? I can't figure out how to get onto this zoom call, for my theatre group..." Roman called. He was sitting at his desk in the corner of the living room. Logan nodded, and stood up from the couch, walking over to Roman. Remus was sitting in a seat, playing on a Nintendo. He was sat sideways, his legs hung off the side of the seat, with his back against the other arm of the chair. He smiled as Logan walked past, turning back to his game, when he saw Logan made it safely next to Roman's desk. Weird phrasing right? Remus was always just paranoid. It was the thought of something going terribly wrong that scared him. Yes he is the embodiement of intrusive thoughts, but he wasn't one for his friends being hurt by things besides him.

Logan began to walk back to his seat, just as he walked past Remus, Remus moved his feet, accidently knocking Logan over, by hitting him, causing him to fall over and hit his head against the coffee table. Logan groaned, as his eyes slipped closed, and blood coming down the back of Logan's head. Remus starred in horror as his brother screamed, jumping from his chair, and running over to Logan. Remus couldn't move. He only watched, until his vision went black.

"Thanks Lo!" Roman smiled. "No problem, Roman." Logan nodded, turning around, to walk back to his seat. Remus blinked a few times, looking to Logan, then Roman. He watched Logan. He pulled his legs in quickly, as Logan walked past. Logan sat down, picking up his book and reading it. He... wasn't hurt? Oh... it was one of Remus' vision's. Remus has always had, 'what if' thoughts before, but now they turned into one's almost like they were really happening. When he would wake from his daze, he would get a sinking feeling, thinking that if he hadn't moved his legs, it would have definitely happened. It would be all his fault Logan was hurt.

Remus was curled into a ball in the seat, holding his legs close, as he continued his game, making a mental note to write down his vision later, or talk to Dr. Picani, about it. But for now he just needed to calm down.

His vision's would only get worst, because he didn't do anything about them. But thank God, they weren't real... right?...

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I hope yall enjoyed. This literally just happened to me. My little brother was getting help from my dad, to get on a zoom call, but they couldn't figure it out. So my mom walked over, and she has a hard time walking due to a stroke she had a while ago, and I'm sitting in a chair like how I described Remus was sitting, and I had a thought about when my Mom walked back, she would hit my legs and trip, causing her to fall, and smash into this nic-nac shelf we have that has a glass shield. I imagined the glass breaking, and cutting her. There is also a knife from her and my dads wedding, which I imagined falling, and hitting her in the head, killing her. It would have been all my fault. So I started having an anxiey attack, and pulled my legs in, so she couldn't fall, if she got close to me. It's uncomfortable, but I don't care. So I wrote this as a vent, and note, I guess. If any of yall know anything about this type of stuff, can you let me know? I have a bunch of stuff going on that I don't want to tell my parents about, so I'm confused as hell... anyways.

Smell ya later

-Author