(I swear it looked at me first Ifykyk) Ryan Clements

intro

My name is Sofia Miller. No one knows this but I am abused by my father. Sometimes he even rapes me.

Usually he goes out and does God knows what. When he comes home he is always wasted and ends up passing out on the couch or in his bedroom. Then he goes out again in the evenings and repeats this schedule everyday.

But when I say no one I mean it, no one knows about this.

My best friend and crush is named Ryan Clements, but I know he doesn't like me, he probably likes me as a sister or something. Or maybe just thinks I'm someone who's just always near him.

I wish I could tell him what my dad does but I can't. But I think Ryan is catching on.

I have an older brother, but he is following in the footsteps of my dad, he's becoming a drunk.

My dad started abusing me when I was eight. I think he is abusing me because of my mom. He just decides to take out all his pain and grief on drinking and on me.

My mom, Kate, died when I was 7, around the same time my dad started drinking.

I suffer from severe depression, and I'm pretty sure it started when I was 10.

But I don't understand why my dad takes his anger out on me, like why me. What did I do to deserve this? My mom and dad brought me into this world, sometimes I wonder and hope that my dad will take me out of it.

A lot of people say I'm very pretty, but I don't believe them. All I see are the things my dad calls me and sometimes people at school, ugly, fat, slut, useless, trash, retard, unloved, unwanted. And I believe it all.

I have really straight, dark brown hair with some highlights.

My hair stops right abobe my hips, and grey eyes.

I have some freckles around my nose and surprisingly my eyelashes are pretty long. I have naturally rosy cheeks.

I am doing very well with my grades, and I think I'm handling my situation very well.

I have learned to where a mask of happiness to hide my pain and sadiness.

Sometimes it feels like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to help me but no one can hear me at all.

Like im stuck in hell, and was never even given a chance to live my life fully.

The only people who have ever been there for me are Ryan and Addison. They can actually make me smile for real. Not a fake smile, a genuine smile.

Addie has dirty blond hair that is slightly curly and is really thick. Her hair has a hint of red. She has a really amazing personality, but she does seem kinda fake.

Ryan and I have been best friends since second grade, but he's been my crush since 5th grade. He's older than me by a couple months.

Ryan has these gorgeous brown eyes that you could stare into forever. He has dark brown hair that's perfectly messy, and a snow white smile.

Ryan's mom, Hope and his dad, Tom are basically like my parents. They treat me as if I'm there kid. I love his parents, there so nice.