Study of the mind ➸ yandere x reader

Ch 18

How long had you been stuck down here so far? You knew one thing, you were fucking hungry. You were really starting to regret not eating anything before. Your stomach yelled at you, but you ignored it just how you ignored your head yelling at you. 

A 'click' was heard and you snapped your head towards the hatch. You were still sitting at the stairs, It was better than being further in the basement on that awful mattress that you guessed someone before you died on. 

The hatch opened showing light and a fresh smell which made your eyes light up. However, that didn't last long when Spencer came down and closed it. 

"What're you doing up here Bunny?" He asked calmly, as if all this was normal and completely acceptable. You looked at him with rage.

"What am I doing up here? What the fuck is wrong with you, you crazy fuck! You drugged me and threw me in a basement with other people you murdered. I want to get out!" You screamed than Immediately covered your own mouth. Well, you're fucking dead. You had a nice run (Y/N), good job! 

Spencer just chuckled a little, surprising you. "It's okay, I didn't expect you to be happy with this, but you'll get used to it soon enough, it's alright." He smiled lively at you and reached out softly stroking your cheek in attempt to comfort/support you.

This is fucking unbelievable. How can he think any of this is alright!?

"Spencer, you need to let, me, go..."  You wept. Tears falling down your cheek and onto his hand. He sighed and removed his hand from your face. 

"(Y/N), I can't do that..." 

"Why!?" You screamed. You looked down and wept into your hands. Spencer seemed in thought for a moment. 

"Just go back to the mattress, we'll figure this out soon enough." He smiled brightly at you. What was his problem! You stared at him with pure rage in your teary eyes. Then started shaking your head slightly at him. 

"Spencer, there are dead people in here! I can't stay down here! You need to let me go! Please... This isn't right..." You began strong but trailed off at the end, knowing it probably wouldn't help much. 

"Until I can trust you won't leave me, you have to stay down here. Now don't make me mad (Y/N), I don't want to hurt you." He roughly grabbed your wrist and started dragging you to the mattress. You expected him to throw you down, but he let go and softly smiled at you, walking back to the stairs. You stood next to the mattress watching him leave and hearing the 'click' to ensure you weren't getting out. 

As much as you didn't want to, you sat down on the disgusting lump. You pulled your legs up to your chest and hugged them. You need a way out of here. There was no way that staying here is an option. Your mind pondered various thoughts. Something you still couldn't wrap your head around was Spencer himself. The time you had spent with him showed him being such a kind, funny, caring person. "I can't believe I started to develop feelings for that monster!" You said to yourself in shame. 

In all fairness, you didn't know he was a monster until recently. But the thought, the feeling! You had hung out with him, talked to him, hugged him, slept in his bed with him! And you had just started acknowledging some sort of romantic feelings for him... You felt disgusted. He's a complete maniac and you were friends with him! You didn't want to think about why he had killed people or who else he had killed. However, your mind couldn't stray away from it. You started feeling that deeply sick feeling. The smell was starting to get to you and the thoughts about... everything, made it worse. 

"Please don't throw up, please don't throw up..." You repeated to yourself out loud, knowing if you had done just that, It would smell even worse in here. 

--- 

More time past and unfortunately, you didn't know how much time. What if you've been down here days? What if it's only been a few hours. Just then, the familiar noise was heard and Spencer came down holding a glorious smile. He was also holding a water bottle and plate with... food! Your mind stopped working for a moment as if your stomach took over. You were so hungry. In fact over the time you've been down here, however long that was, you had become just a little skinnier. He approached you and happily handing you the plate. It was a few pieces of toast with fruits on the side. 

"Eat up Bunny, you need to keep healthy." He sat down across him you on the gross floor and just watched. You ignored him partly and started eating the food. It wasn't much but oooh! It was so good! You tried to take your time, savour it, but that didn't work so well. You soon finished all the food on the plate. Your stomach thanked you a little and let your head take over once again. 

"Can you let me go now?" You asked, knowing full-well what the answer was. He just smiled his stupid charming smile. He handed you the drink bottle and you gladly took it, drinking up. Why was he doing this, feeding you, making sure you had water. But for what! You were just going to die like the rest of them, right? That got you thinking, why did he kill the rest of them? 

"S-Spencer... Why did you hurt your family... and Mr. Spriggs." The bravery in you was really coming out. Maybe you weren't scared to die. Or maybe your just not a clumsy mess whenever you talk to Spencer now because he's a fucking lunatic. 

"They all deserved it..." Spencer said, his smile gone. Okay... maybe you were a little scared of dying. You really didn't want Spencer to hurt you. You just looked at him, without speaking a word, just in case. But he could tell through your face you wanted more answers. Spencer continued: "My dad was an asshole. He hit me every time I spoke, and then, If I didn't talk, he'd beat me for not speaking. My mother was a fucking coward... She would stand there everyday and watch her only child get fucking torn apart. I told her so many times, just leave! Just go one day while he's working. Fucking run away. But she wouldn't talk to me the ignorant bitch. So i decided I needed to do something, after all, she wouldn't do a thing. I killed her first..." You sat in shock, not knowing what to say or how to react. Spencer paused before he continued telling his story. 

"I felt horrible. I hit her again and again until she finally dropped and then I kept hitting her until she finally stopped moving. I realized what I had done and threw up in the sink... I had to hide her body, so I dragged her down here. My dad said I should never go down here, but I didn't listen to him. I would come down here to read when they were fighting. You can't hear anything. I cleaned up the blood and waited for him to come home... I didn't feel okay about killing anyone, but I knew I had to do it! When he did get home and sat down on the couch like he always did, waiting for my mother to bring him a drink, I grabbed one of the kitchen knives and tried to cut this throat. Unfortunately he seen it coming and put up a fight. He was screaming and yelling at me and that's when I lost it... I just ran at him, got him right in the stomach. He dropped and I felt something else inside of me, I felt happy, free. I threw him down here too. After that everything was fine, until I seen you." 

Woah okay, this was.. too much, to say the least. 'What did I just fucking listen to!?'  This, was unbelievable. So much to try and wrap your head around!  

"You made me feel something else inside of me too, (Y/N). It was hard to describe, It was a really strong feeling, really powerful..." 

Wait, why does this sound familiar?  

"I didn't know if It was a good or bad feeling, or even something else..."

Oh no...

"It was a new feeling, something that would take my mind and body a while to be comfortable with..." 

This isn't happening!!!

"You told me that if something makes me happy, I should listen to myself. I should own it, build on it. And that's what I'm doing..." 

There was one thought racing your mind right now:

'What. The. Fuck!?...'