Wings of Butterflies

5. Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow

During the next coming month, me and the human met at least two times a week outside of our classes. Most of the time it was the human who took the initiative for our dates, but on the rare occasions, I suggested that we could do something together. The curious thing was that no matter what we did, whether it was going out listening to a band play at a small club or just spending time together talking in Marc’s dorm, we always had a good time. Even though I still watched his neck most of the time when he was speaking, I had to admit that his company was not the worst company. He often made me laugh and I could still talk to him about everything. Well, almost anything. There was merely one thing that had not been brought up. My plans about making him my personal snack machine.

     Every single time I went to meet him, I always thought to myself; today I will ask him over and over again. But the same thing always happened. Marc was his charming self and I “forget” to ask him yet again. When I was not spending time with Marc, the guilt towards Ray was building up since I never came back with blood, and when I was spending time with Marc, he made me feel almost guilty for dating both him and Ray. It was not something he mentioned directly, but he gave me several hints that even I couldn’t misunderstand. He even seemed jealous when I barely mentioned Ray’s name. Being torn between the two “men” was exhausting and several times I thought about telling Ray that we should drop our plans. Then I realized that if our plans were dropped I would have no reason to see Marc anymore. I did not want to admit it even to myself, but the feeling I got when I thought about not dating Marc was pure panic, like I wasn’t getting enough air. I did not wish to reflect over these feelings, so I pushed them aside and focused on a way to sneak the word donor into a conversation.

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“Gabrielle, we have to talk about the human.”

     It had been exactly four weeks and five days since mine and Marc’s first date. Me and Ray had of course spoken about him before, but I could feel that Ray was more serious tonight.

     “What about Marc?” I asked in a suspicious voice.

     Ray made a face and said in a tone I could not place:

     “Since when do you call the human by name?”

     I was surprised by myself. When had I started to refer to the human as Marc? Two weeks ago, after or first date? I had no idea. Since I could not answer his question, I ignored it.

     “It was something else you wanted to talk about, wasn‘t it?”

     He pointed to the couch and I sat down with a suspicious expression on my face.

     “This is going to be difficult for you to hear Gabrielle, but I am saying this for both our sakes. I have a strong feeling that you are in love with the human.”

     My brain wasn’t working and his information wasn’t getting through to me.

     “What are you saying?” I said with an angry snap. “You can’t be serious.”

     The expression on Ray’s face told me that he was definitely serious, but I was determined not to believe him. This was crazy talk.

     “I wouldn’t tell you this if I did not have strong evidence.”

     “Name one!”

     “You haven’t asked the human to be a donor yet, even though you’ve had plenty of time to do it. You’ve been happy in a way since you started dating him that you have never been with me. When you talk about him your eyes light up like they never do when you talk about me. Do you want me to continue?”