There are some trial moments, emotional breakdowns, confrontations, realisations that we all suffer everyday but they're underrated. No one knows them except you and your tears. People would tell philosophies, mind therapies, peace discoveries and...
She was staring the dark blank sky, as if it had nothing to say tonight. No stars, no moon but the bone cracking cold wind. She was freezing even when the flames of fire, burning in the coal drum, were near to burn her.
"Ayda?"
She responded the instant with empty eyes. Blank face.
" I have been searching you everywhere and here... what are you doing here?"
Nahyan reached her, a bit worriedly.
"Nothing.. i was just passing by.. i was.... " she smiled, stammering and remembering that why she stood there.
"Oh I was here to fimd the keys, main door keys.." Ayda started wondering where were the keys and how long she had been standing here.
"Keys were found 2 hours back, Ayda. What's wrong?" He made her sit nearby with concerned tone. She paused. Inhaling the harsh cold air, she shut her lids only to blink with fresh warm stream of tears.
"What should be wrong with a wife who's husband is leaving her tomorrow?"
She was blinking at him with so much pain that stabbed his heart for a moment.
He tried to smile softly and pulled her frozen little white hands in his calloused strong veined hands.
"What should a warrior do when he loves his faith and heart both?" He wiped her flushing wet cheeks with his warm thumb pad.
"Who's your heart?" Tears started brimming in her eyes again knowing the answer very well.
"You are my heart and sword of Allah is my faith. A man can't live without both."
He was drawing warm circles on the back of her little hands with soft and loving eyes.
" I..... " she sobbed.
"I know that i am a wife of a soldier and i had to be strong enough always but sometimes...." her voice broke again.
"Sometimes... enough is not enough!" she sobbed and let her pain out in the form of tears.
"Ayda! Don't do this to me!" He encircled in his warm hold.
"It's so difficult to let you go everytime Nahyan, not even knowing that I might be able to see you again or not. And now it's just not only me alone but him as well.. "
She looked back in his eyes, placing his hand on her stomach.
"He is gonna be as brave as his mom is! Trust me!"
He wiped her cheeks with his warm thumb pads.
"Do you know what keeps us patient? Keeps us, all of us exactly going? What is that piece of hope that we keep leaning on even if we know we are drowning already?"
He whispered.
"It's faith! A faith in Allah and His planning. It's our faith that keeps the rythm of our heart beats. It's faith that one day everything is gonna be fine and we'll meet again with our loved, even if not in this duniyah then in Jannah!"
She collapsed in his soft grip.
"And trust me I feel like the most luckiest man alive because He had allowed me to love my Hoor already !" He chuckled holding her fragile teary face that responded with a muffled little laugh as well.
"Liar! You'll be asking many more Hoors, i know!" She complained lovingly. He stared her flushed face with the most absorbing eyes.
" I will always be wanting the one with whom I was made in a pair." He blinked pulling her in.
" I wish I could have the courage to say no when you proposed me!" She sniffed. He digged his chin in her forehead inhaling a deep defeated breathe.
" what a wonderful answer to my most sincere confession, maa shaa Allah!" He shook his head silently.
"That's because you make my cry almost everyday with your absence!" She wiped her face with the back of her hand.
" Ayda love is never meant to be completley fulfilled in this worldly life so why are we even trying that? The moments we are in right now is all we always have. Being a soldier makes it realiatic and obvious but even if i was not, this fact remains evident...."
Ayda knew him. He had always talked like this. He was a man of strong specturms and confident decisions. Brave, bold and fiercely loyal towards the ones he loved.
"I hate to see you in tears but deep inside i know our heart is strong enough to keep the beats until we win the battle of faith. I love the job i am chosen for, Ayda and i know if i won't be in this place, someone else will but Allah never stops the word of his Deen. We, as muslim soldiers, as army officers are not only a threat to enemies of Islam but we are the ones who'll set a path for our coming generations. So that we do not forget that we belong to Him and one day we will return to Him."
He had such a comfort face. Ayda smiled between her tears.
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" you are the most amazing man that i have been gifted with! Brave and compassionate. May Allah keeps you in His protection always and by my side always!"
She held his hand warmly and he chuckled holding her back.
"Now, be strong and champ take care of your mom! Dad is going to be back real soon!"
"I love you!" She whispered back and he kept soothing her till their pain vanished.
"There is field beside right and wrongs. I'll meet you there"
