The New Addition L.S

Ch.39

Louis

It's been about a week Harry's been acting a little weird today and it's only 10 in the morning.

Usually he makes breakfast but today he just had us eat cereal. I'm not complaining I love cereal it's just unusual.

"Hey baby you Alright?" I ask while we all eat breakfast.
"Yea Why?" He asks.
"I don't you just seem a little off." I say and he takes me hand and kisses it.
"I'm fine I just need to go take my medicine." He says getting up.
"How are you and Harry?" Liam asks.
"We are good really good. But he did seem a bit off right?" I ask.
"Yea he was quite and jittery." Zayn says.
"Yea-" Niall starts but then Harry walks in and we go quiet.
I just have a bad feeling about him.
"Haz baby are you um are you cutting again?" I ask him.
He looks at me with his most agape.
"No Lou why would I be?" He says and shows me his wrists with just old scars.
"Okay good I was just making sure love." I say.
I look at him he has anger in his eyes why his he mad?
He doesn't even say anything he just abruptly stands up and pushes his chair in slamming it against the table and goes upstairs.
We all look at each other shocked.
"What just happened?" Zayn asks.
"I um I don't know he was fine just a second ago." I say.
"I'll go check on him." Zayn says.

Zayn

I go upstairs and knock on Harry's door.
Then almost immediately when opens it.
"Hey Zayn." He says looking down.
"Hey Haz can I come in?" I ask him.
He replies by moving aside gesturing me inside.
He closes the door and we sit on his bed.
"So what happened out there?" I ask.
"Um I don't know I was just kinda upset that he assumed I was cutting again just because I was acting a little off." He says playing with his shirt.
"Yea I'm sorry I don't think he meant it to be so harsh. He was just worried about you." I say.
"Yea I know I really didn't mean to lash out like that." He says.
"It's okay Haz you wanna come back down stairs?" I ask him.
He nods and we go back down stairs.
He apologizes to the boys and we just end up playing FIFA.
But still he seemed off but he's probably just tired so I shrugged it off.

Harry

Tomorrow was not going to be a good day for me.
It was the going to be a year tomorrow since she died.
I have no idea how I'm going to act but I'm scared. I just really miss her.
We were all watching a movie but honestly I haven't even payed attention to one part.

I'm just so distracted.
I know what could help but I can't do that. I promised the boys. I'll have to find a different way.
I look up at Louis who is letting me snuggle in his arms.
"I love your eyes Lou seriously I can look at them all day." I say staring at them.
They were a beautiful blue shade. It reminds me of the beaches in Greece. That was Gemma's dream to travel there, I don't blame her it's beautiful.
"Thanks Haz." He says and kisses my forehead.

I wonder what's it's like to be dead.
Like where is Gemma right now? What will happens when we all die will I see here again? Or do we just disappear into nothingness?
I've always wondered what is was like. Well obviously I'm not going to try but when it is my time I would like to know.
But I guess no one has answers to that kind of stuff.
Just like they didn't have answers to why Gemma's heart stopped.
It just hurts to know that she didn't even know, none of us did that it was going to be her last moments on earth.
I just wish I could have done something.
I will always feel guilty for being able to live a life like this when hers was taken so early.

I don't think I'll ever forgive myself.

"I think I'm gonna go head to bed I'm really tired." I say sitting up from Louis's hold.
"Okay you want me to come?." He asks and pulls me into a kiss and I kiss back and pull away.
"Yes please." I whisper and we both go upstairs after saying goodnight.

"Love are you alright you seemed off today?" He asks as I snuggle into his chest.
"Yea I mean I just don't know I might have a bad day tomorrow." I whisper slightly.
"Why baby" He asks.
"It's gonna be Gem's year anniversary since." I say back fighting tears.
"It's okay baby I'll be with you." He says.
"Goodnight Lou I love you."
"I love you too."

Sorry this chapter was veryyy dark:((