𝖒𝖎𝖑𝖊𝖘 𝕱𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖑𝖉 𝖃 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗

"I didn't love her but i guess one day i could"

A/n:
⚠️warning⚠️
Chapter includes use of slurs,sexual stuff a bit,rape all of these are slightly if you don't like those types of things skip this chapter

Miles POV:

I had wrapped my arm around her waist I guess this is what people do when they love

God who am I kidding I have no clue what fucking love is yeah I loved my parents but I don't know how to love

As a kid I was always so happy Flora,my parents,Quint,and I would always go out together well that was before Flora was scared to leave the premises or get anywhere close to the gate

I felt bad for Flora because she had to see the whole things and every single detail

I remember that day Flora ran to my room first she was screaming and panting and I couldn't make out a word she was saying she then was able to say "mommy and daddy.....gate" I soon got up and looked out the window and seen what she was talking about I tried not to panic but what are you supposed to do when your parents could potently be dead

I had told Flora to stay here in my room not wanting her to see all this because she was to young and I don't want her to be exposed to all that

I then ran to Quints room and seen he wasn't there and already down the stairs I'm guessing he had heard it too and so did Miss.Grose because they were already out the door I followed shortly behind them and seen the terror of my mother and father

Soon later after that I had picked up on drinking and have been ever since y/n didn't know at least I don't think she did every time I would come home the next morning I always ended up in her room but her nowhere to be found but she was always in the same place my room

I was sent off to private school because my parents weren't in the best place and they said that they didn't want me to pick up on another habit so that's why the sent me I was in about 7-9 grade when the sent me

And god can I say it was a living hell there everyday would be the exact same I would wake up see Jacob's fucking face and his goddamn annoying smile I just wanted to bash it in and I've never wanted to hurt someone so badly

If I'm being honest I was jealous of him I wanted to have the six pack abs he had I wanted his perfect tan skin and his curly but neatly placed on his head hair the way that every time he'd walk somewhere everyone would turn their heads towards him and how he could easily get any girl

A/N:I'm going to do a plot twist so please don't hate me

Well you know how I said that I had never kissed anyone to y/n it was a complete lie but I was just a complete liar a sociopath you could say

I had kissed people before

And one night I had watched Jacob something fanticised me about him his lips for some reason I wanted to kiss them yeah I don't know either dude

One night he came back and I remember sitting on my bed waiting for him lights out and everything he came back and called out for me I stood up and I began to unbutton his shirt he tried pushing me off of him but I pushed him on the bed and kissed him

He had asked if I was gay I said yeah he said me too although i was lying to him i was going to make his life a living hell and after all he's the captain of the football team and i could tell everyone he was gay

I had removed all my clothes by now i wasn't being gentle I had ripped his clothes off and turnt him over pushing my cock into his ass he had told me to stop but I didn't I kept doing it

He was screaming and crying but again I didn't care I started yelling at him "your a fucking fagget" and "the whole football team is going to not want to be anywhere near you because of how you are all gay they'd be worried if you'd touch their dicks or have sex with them"

A/n: I don't say slurs at all I find it very disgusting and rude and I would never say something like this to a gay person because not every gay guy likes every guy just the same as a straight male they dont like every guy so I thought I just put that out there and I accept anyone who is LGBTQ+ okay on with the story cuties

After I was done I had left him in the room crying and wrote on the walls "jacob is a faggot" and then I had a recording of him saying he was gay and I sent it to everyone in the school

And then he burnt the photos a bit later and he was also kicked off the football team and the whole thing of me attacking him I was sent home

And that night I had meat someone who I never knew could be so much like me but be so different I would always restrain myself from hurting her or ever going crazy on her

We except one night I had grabbed her are a little to hard I seen i had left a mark the next morning it was gone but it wasn't gone it was just hidden under makeup

I hated when she wore makeup

A/n: uh so if you ware makeup this is not trying to be rude against what you do keep doing it if that's what makes you happy I personally don't ware it but yeah continue 💋

I thought it made her look ugly once I had went to her room while she was putting on a dark red lipstick I thought it made her look like a hooker made her look ugly so I took her by her face and forcefully grabbed her face and began wiping it off her face but all it did was smudge

I liked y/n but didn't love her I didn't know how to love

At nights I'd find myself longing for touch and that person would be y/n i had took a picture of her one night and kept it y/n was so pretty better then anyone you'd find anyone in a playboy magazine or porn magazine I would get so hard looking at her I would also jerk of to her and once I reached my climax I would moan out her name

I've wanted to have sex with her so bad but I didn't just want to have her for her body and sex so I thought I'd never ask because I didn't want anything else to do with her but have sex but it'd be cruel so I just jerked off to her instead

I also knew she would finger herself to a picture of me I knew this because I would watch her do it and say my name once she reached her high like I had always done and she'd let out moans

I had found out that she had carried a gun on her I also had found out that it was Quints because he came to my room one night asking for it I had repeatedly told his I didn't have it and he repeatedly kept hitting me and hitting me harder every time I said I didn't do it

The next morning I had bruises on me all over me

It's still a mystery to me why y/n has the gun but deep down I knew she wouldn't ever hurt me I knew deep down she loved me I knew deep down I didn't love her but some day I guess I would

One day we'd love eachother and die together

A/n: I really had no clue what to write about miles so I kept making things up on my way throughout this story so yeah but vote and comment of course if you want to

Love you all and stay safe

If any spelling mistakes/errors I'm sorry 💋

Also I love this song one of my favorites by the pixies