These strange steps

8. Eight

For the remainder of Tuesday, she just focuses on keeping busy.

She reads a book, or tries to.

It's a victory; for once, she actually makes it through three entire chapters before zoning out completely. When she does, it's not because of any of the usual reasons her mind shuts down: concerns about the job, or how long it will take before someone actually figures out she's destined to screw up in a way they can't hide from the press. Thoughts about how alone she is, even with Puck and Kurt and her other friends flitting in and out of her presence constantly. Memories of how things used to be.

No, this time, all she can think about is the way her shoulder still vaguely aches; and that's a reminder of Quinn, who is currently-

She glances at the clock, and then glances away, and finally heads to the bathroom for a bath.

Submerging her entire body just about dulls out any and all visuals she really doesn't want or need right now, and the heat of the water and the steam in the room a few minutes later just about make her drowsy enough for a single sleeping pill to knock her out.

...

That covers Tuesday. Which only leaves Wednesday, Thursday, and possibly Friday until they can do it all over again.

Although, again...

Rachel has no illusions about it ever being exactly the same as it was before. Quinn is an apt pupil, studying her reactions to everything they try together, and she's starting to distinguish between the things that do and don't make Rachel quiver underneath her.

Every time is better than the last, so far, regardless of whether they're even in the same room or not.

It's something to look forward to-the next time. And the fact that she finally has a real prospect is enough for her actually voice a few opinions during Wednesday's rehearsal. Later, she manages to make it on stage with only one Xanax in her bloodstream. The entire concert doesn't just pass her by in a daze, but she's a real part of it, and realizes that she doesn't want to keep doing the same songs, over and over.

She tells Kurt as much, afterwards; that it's open to discussion, but that she'd like to change the second opener into something more ... uplifting.

"Such as?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

She shrugs, letting him follow her back to her dressing room; she remembers (for a change) to wave at the few fans they encounter on the way, and offers them a mostly genuine smile. When they reach the door, she turns to Kurt and frowns at him slightly. "Something more ... like what we used to do in Glee club."

The hint of a smile plays around Kurt's lips, and after a moment he nods and leaves her be.

She pulls the pins out of her hair and glances at her phone, her heart jumping when there's a message there. Nobody contacts her during evening hours, really, because they know she won't see messages until she's ready to go to bed-unless it's an emergency, or...

"Or" is the better alternative, and for once, she feels like she's earned it.

I've been in a library cubicle for the last seven hours and am starting to feel like the walls are closing in on me. I thought you'd be able to relate.

She smirks at the forced casualness of the message, because Quinn is clearly taking her up on her suggestion that they could be friends in a very serious way-and here Rachel had been thinking she'd just get mercilessly teased for it during sex for the rest of her... summer. But no, Quinn is playing along, and somehow that's ... exactly what she needs, after a long but actually rewarding day.