These strange steps

34

It's only a few days later when she's standing outside of Penn Station.

Outside of Penn Station is as fucking busy as the inside of Penn Station, and so she counts to ten and forcibly reminds herself that the only person actually looking for her, or at her, is Quinn.

This is her biggest test of endurance yet, and Quinn is waiting for a text from her to see if she should hold back at her platform or start walking out, and her hand clutches her phone desperately. Tony's words-they don't care, they aren't even looking, they're just there to go about their business the same way she is-ring through her head, but it's not quite enough to stop the dull pressure in her forehead from notching up higher and higher, and after a few more moments of just trying to calm her breathing, she ends up wandering around the side of the station to where it's slightly less busy and then, yeah, she texts Quinn.

Quinn appears at her side while she's still leaning forward, bracing herself on her knees, and trying to get her heart rate back down to normal, and just leans against the wall next to her and says, "You know, I'm not really sure why I came out when we're going to have to catch another train back to your place anyway."

Rachel laughs the best she can, for a moment, and then slowly straightens and looks at Quinn's face, which is exactly the right kind of thing to focus on; there's concern in her eyes, but other than that there's just a light half-smile playing around her mouth, and Rachel exhales slowly and then says, "Yeah, I hadn't really thought about that part."

Quinn's smile widens, and then she looks around and says, "Cab to your house?"

"Yeah, that's-well, no," Rachel says, and then laughs shakily. "We should probably just call Puck. I crashed at Tina's last night because you're in so early, but-"

"Okay. Let's call Puck," Quinn says, already rummaging around her pocket for her phone; she places the call gently, and innocuously, like they just need a ride for no particular reason, and Rachel relaxes the rest of the way at how Quinn is taking this in stride.

That doesn't mean that she's not being hit with a harsh reality right now: yeah, there is a New York she really loves, and that Quinn should see over the next few days, but she's probably not going to be seeing it with Rachel.

It brings tears to her eyes, unexpectedly, and then Quinn carefully steps into her space and says, "You didn't fail", in a low voice that only Rachel can hear.

"I know, but-I'm going to," Rachel says, taking a deep breath and then rubbing her gloved fingers under her eyes. "I have so many plans for the next few days-"

"Plans can change, Rachel. I'm perfectly fine to just be on the phone with you and follow your directions and-"

"That's not how I wanted this to go," she snaps, without warning, and then has to clench her teeth to not actually start crying. "I just thought-Christ, I don't know what I was thinking, Quinn. I thought I was actually cured. That it was just-"

"I know," Quinn says, and then tilts her head until she can look Rachel in the eyes. "Can I touch you, or will it heighten your anxiety?"

Rachel shakes her head, and is then quickly enveloped into a little cocoon that makes the rest of the city fade away. Quinn's arms around her are solid, but not overly tight, and after a second of soaking in her presence, she feels herself calm down again.

"Puck said he'd meet us by your favorite bistro-are you okay to get going to wherever that is?" Quinn asks, after a moment.

Rachel nods, and says, "Just-do you have any bottled water on you by any chance? I should probably-"