Strolling around the supermarket, pushing the trolley in front of me, I browsed the aisles of products that were lined up in an ordered fashion. Other shoppers were busy picking up stuff from the shelves and placing them in their baskets and trolleys, whilst I was busy keeping an eye out for Katy as she darted towards the toy aisle and as Ollie sat in the baby seat of the trolley, staring back up at me with the mischievous grin he had on his face like he always had when I took him shopping.
“Mummy! Mummy!” Katy bellowed with a grin on her face as she ran back towards me, armed with a baby doll in her hands. “Can I get this for Christmas? Please!”
“You shouldn’t ask me,” I smiled. “You’ve got to ask Father Christmas, haven’t you?”
Usually, Katy would enter into a sulk of doom when denied a toy but with the mention of ‘Father Christmas’, her usual sulk was replaced with a beaming smile. “Okay. Can we go see him please?”
“We’ll see.”
*
As Katy ran out of the car and towards the front door, I began to unclip Ollie from his car seat and put him on the ground, letting him toddle off towards the front door in the same path of his sister. I walked around to the boot of the car and laughed at the sight of Ollie chasing Katy around the front garden. Picking up the few shopping bags, I closed the boot of the car but was stopped in my tracks as I began to walk up to the house.
“Sammy..”
Turning around, I paused as I realised Alex was stood behind me with puppy dog eyes as he looked straight back at me. “What are you doing here?” I scowled. Alex was the last person that I wanted to see right now. In fact, the way I was feeling about him at that very moment, never seeing him ever again would have been too soon in my eyes.
“Sammy, we need to talk. I want to sort this out. I want you back.”
In that moment, I laughed. There was nothing else I could do but laugh. A few weeks ago I would have been tempted to jump back into his arms instantaneously, but not now. I looked over my shoulder to see Katy running up to Alex with her arms open. As he bent down to catch her, I put my arm out to stop Katy running towards him. “Katy,” I smiled calmly. “Go get your brother, will you? We’ll go see Father Christmas!”
“Sammy..” Alex paused as I turned back to face him with Katy running back towards Ollie. “You can’t just throw everything we had away? It was just sex. It was meaningless sex. I was going through a hard time, dealing with you after everything that happened.”
I watched him in disbelief as I listened pointlessly to him arguing his side of the argument.
“You know I love you. Can’t we just be civilised adults here and sit down and talk?”
I looked over at my children - my world - and smiled. Turning back to Alex, the smile remained. “I tell you what, lets go inside and fuck. I mean, that seems to be your idea of talking as civilised adults. That is how you communicated with that whore, isn’t it?”
“So you’re gonna be like that?” Alex asked, sighing.
He was acting as if all this was my fault - as if I was the one in the wrong. “Like what?”
“All childish. It was a mistake, Sammy. How many times do I have to say I’m sorry before you believe me? I never meant to hurt you. Are you really stupid enough to let everything we have go to waste over one stupid mistake?” Alex asked, raising his voice slightly.
“Don’t you dare turn this around on me, Alex,” I spat. “I’m not the one throwing it all away. You did that when you brought that girl back to my house and decided to ‘entertain her’ in my bed. It wasn’t even your house or your bed. Thank God I had sense to not invite you to move in with us yet. I trusted you. I loved you and stupidly, I thought you loved me too but evidently I couldn’t have been more wrong. You don’t hurt somebody you love. You have no idea what I was going through these past few months since everything that happened. In reality, you know nothing about me if you think that I’m the sort of person to just get on with stuff. Yes, I might have picked my life back up but I had to for Katy and Ollie’s sakes but I was hurting inside - I still am. And seeing you with that girl in the house I call my home made it hurt even more because I know part of me drove you to her but it still isn’t my fault. If you couldn’t be man enough to stand by me through thick and thin, then you clearly can’t love me like you say you do. And no matter how much you say it is a ‘mistake’, it never will be a mistake. A mistake is something you don’t mean to happen, or something you do carelessly. You didn’t just carelessly put your dick in that whore. Oh, and another thing while I’m at it, it really isn’t normal to have a dick that shape - and I faked it.”
Taking a deep breath, I smiled in fulfilment as Alex looked at me, lost for words. I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders.
“Alex!” Katy beamed again as she noticed Alex looking speechless.
Throwing her arms around him, she kept calling his name as he looked down at her, unsure of what to do. As he picked her up, Katy turned to me and her smile disappeared. “Hey Katy. How far have you got on with that book in school?” Alex asked, ignoring my stare, acting like nothing had happened at all.
“My daddy told me that when somebody does something bad to me, I should say goodbye to them as they don’t deserve to see my smiles if they are the reason for my tears,” Katy smiled effortlessly. “You hurt my mummy. You made her cry and I don’t think that is something good - it’s bad. Anybody that hurts my mummy, hurts me too. So I’m going to say goodbye to you like an adult and give you one last hug.”
I looked at her in amazement. I never knew how mature and grown up she could be. I tried to keep her sheltered from everything that was going on by telling her I’d be spending little time with Alex now as he was busy with work but I had no idea how much she would pick up on it. Alex looked even more in shock at Katy than he did by my outburst. Katy wrapped her arms around Alex tightly before letting go.
“Can you put me down please?” she asked politely. Following her instructions, Alex put Katy down on the garden path and she walked to stand by my side. “Mummy, can we go see Father Christmas now, please?”
I nodded with a huge smile of my face. “Of course we can.”
Turning away from Alex, I began to walk toward Ollie, who was sat on the steps up to the front door with a huge grin on his face. Katy stayed by my side as I got the keys out of the pocket and began to unlock the door. Without turning around, I could tell Alex had left with the sound of a car reversing off the drive. I never looked back at him. Instead, I looked down at Ollie and Katy and smiled at them both again. After dropping the shopping bags into the kitchen, I turned back to see what Katy and Ollie were doing and was surprised to see Katy untying Ollie’s shoelaces.
“Don’t take your shoes off now,” I smiled. “We’re gonna go see Father Christmas!”
“It’s okay, mummy,” Katy beamed. “I’ve got what I would have asked Father Christmas for.”
I looked in confusion at her. “What?”
“To see you smile.”
