Episode 12: Hitler's Pants

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"Wow." Huffed Marley, ringing out the grease and sweat from his shirt

"I know, right? That was by far the most insanely epic space-battle in history; I still can't believe we survived." Lawg said stepping over the green goop on the floor and locating his missing shoe.

"And the brilliant ending, that surprise twist nobody saw coming. Crazy. It would make one hell of a chapter in a book about space adventure. Too bad none of us write that kinda stuff. Oh well." Marley shrugged

"No sense living in the past, lil buddy, we all have a big cleanup day to get to and some huge repairs." Lawg sighed.

"Good times." Marley yawned.

The Tast-E-Chill proceeded to the debris field for their usual supply and artifact run, and a tiny blip appeared on the screen in front of a napping Uka. She yawned and checked it, her eyes getting even bigger then usual.

"Lawg...we have...something you need to see." She hollered. He rushed in, still styling his hair.

"It better be good, you know not to bother me during hair-care time." he said standing behind her.

"Yea I think this qualifies as something significant." She said hitting the display zoom. There on the screen was a big shining blue planet.

"Did GPS Carmen have a stroke or are we zooming all the way to another system entirely?" he asked.

"The location is accurate, we should be in the debris field right now, and this is only magnified 12 times." She stated.

"Whaaaaat?" Lawg said squinting. "There is no planet in this area, just debris. Hell, even the moon was mostly destroyed in this orbit." He said. She zoomed a little bit back.

"You mean this moon here...orbiting the blue planet?" she corrected. His demeanor went cold, like he was staring at a ghost. The silence was frigid as he rubbed his eyes and checked his sanity.

"No way..." Lawg beamed. "This is Earth! I recognize it from that old map in my quarters, even the moon, and almost no damage."

"Is there a name for this moon?" she asked.

"Yea, they called it "the moon" in most cases." He added.

"Geese, that's boring, what did they call their sun? "The Sun" or something."? Surely they were more creative than that." Uka chuckled. Lawg began pacing.

"This is impossible. The Earth was destroyed, now there is not even a debris field...there is only one explanation for this...time travel!" he said dramatically.

"Time travel is banned, we don't even have a time diglet on this ship." she protested.

"That can't be a real thing...you made that up." Lawg squinted.

"Time diglet: a device for bending time, which is absolutely a thing! How could we have traveled in time without one? Its' scientifically impossible to go backwards in time without diglet power. We didn't hit any anomalies or the alarm...would have," Uka said remembering she turned the anomaly alarm off and didn't remember turning it back on after their last run. "...must be broken...damn Carmen." She said faking resentment.

"Don't worry, I have a backup GPS." He said punching a few keys.

"Welcome to Homing Operation Personal Environmental locator...or HOPE." said the virtual navigator.

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