Cheating in Love [Completed]

Chapter 17

The squeak of the door was almost painfully familiar. The creak of the floorboards, the smell in the flat was the one predictable thing in the past few days.

"Hey."

Beckett jumped.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Sawyer said.

"What are you doing up it's 3 in the morning?"

"I know," Sawyer said quietly. "But I just wanted to make sure you got home okay." Beckett tried to give him a smile but it wouldn't come out. "So how are they doing?"

"I don't..." was all he could say. His voice broke and so did the dams he'd been working to build in his tear ducts. His knees crumpled under him. He fell to the floor.

Sawyer's arms were around him, pulling him to his feet and leading him to the couch. Sawyer felt warm in the cold world. Beckett allowed himself to be nearly dragged, putting in as little effort as he could. Sawyer said nothing.

He pulled a blanket over Beckett's shoulders and sat next to him on the couch, putting his arm around him. Beckett couldn't see through the watery blur in his eyes.

They sat in silence as long as Beckett cried. The clocks ticked later into the light and Sawyer didn't move.

"You have class tomorrow," Beckett said.

"Don't worry about it," Sawyer said softly.

"Okay," Beckett wanted to argue but he didn't have the strength. He leaned his head on Sawyer's shoulder and cried himself to sleep.

Sawyer woke to the sun streaming through the curtains. Beckett was still asleep next to him, his eyes red and puffy from crying. Sawyer nudged him awake.

"It's late isn't it," Beckett sat up in a panic. "I made you late for class."

"I told you don't worry about it," Sawyer said. "I'm not going to class today."

"Why not?"

"Because I thought I was getting sick and I didn't want to spread it," he lied. Beckett didn't acknowledge it. "So are you going to stay?"

"No, I can't," Beckett said. "I have to go back to New York to take care of them."

"Oh..."

"I wish I could stay," Beckett said, his voice wavering again.

"If that's what you have to do," Sawyer said. "Then that's what you have to do. They need you... more than I do."

"I wish I could stay," Beckett said again, quieter.

"So how long will you be here?" Sawyer asked.

"Long enough to move out and catch a flight back home," Beckett sounded distant.

"Do you want me to help you pack?" Sawyer asked. Beckett nodded but didn't get up.

"Just give me a minute," Beckett said.

"You don't have to do it right now," Sawyer said. "If you need a little while it's okay."

"Yeah, okay," Beckett sighed. His shoulders drooped. He leaned over into the couch. Sawyer turned on the television to whatever movie was playing. Beckett watched through half-closed eyes.

Sawyer sat as close to Beckett as he could, sharing the blanket between the two of them.

The door opened and Katie stepped in.

"Oh, hey Beckett, I didn't know you were coming back," she said. "Sawyer shouldn't you be at school?" She shuffled into her room without saying anything more.

"She's been keeping to herself since then," Sawyer said.

"Mmm," Beckett acknowledged.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Sawyer asked, running his fingers through Beckett's hair. Beckett buried his face in a pillow. "Do you want anything to eat?" Beckett said something muffled by the pillow.

"What was that?" Sawyer leaned closer. Beckett nodded. "I'll go make something then." The couch creaked as he got up. The floor in the kitchen was cold against his feet.

He heard a noise from the other room. Sawyer peered around the corner. Beckett wasn't sitting on the couch anymore. Sawyer walked around to their room. Beckett was dumping clothes from his drawers onto the floor, his suitcase sitting open on the floor.

Sawyer stood in the doorway watching Beckett struggle to fold clothes into his suitcase. The American held up a jacket that Sawyer recognized as his. Beckett tossed it back into the drawer.

"My bad," Beckett said quietly. "That's your drawer."

Sawyer sat down in front of him. Their eyes met and Sawyer could see exhaustion and defeat in Beckett's face. He took a shirt from the pile and folded it into the suitcase. Beckett closed his eyes. A tear ran down his cheek. He kept folding.

Beckett shoved as much as he could into the suitcase, but it filled up too quickly. He was left with a small pile still on the floor. He rested his head on the clothes.

"Take mine," Sawyer said, moving to get his blue carry-on from the closet.

"Those are expensive," Beckett shook his head.

"I'll come get it back later," Sawyer started to fold the rest of his clothes into it.

"Okay," Beckett hung his head. He sat as Sawyer finished packing, too paralyzed to help.

"Is there anything else you want to bring?" Sawyer asked. Beckett nodded and pointed to the small shelf on the wall with his books and video games. Sawyer had to reach to get to the shelf. "What will you do with the rest?" Sawyer looked at the room, half full with Beckett's stuff.

"You keep it or sell it," Beckett said. "Or throw it out."

"Alright," Sawyer said.

"I have to go withdraw from school," Beckett's voice was empty.

"Alright," was all Sawyer could say.