Prey and Mercy

XV. Frost and Decay

Everything's cold. Cold and sharp and piercing. Up above the stars fall back into place, nightfall untangling itself from her skewered braid. Whatever stolidity there is weighing down my eyelids lifts bringing back a clarity I had previously drowned into death.

I grab the railing for support, not entirely liking the brain freeze behind my eyes. Clarity swims around me and suddenly I'm no longer falling in the light of the stars, into her.

It's hard to meet her gaze when my caution returns. "Where did you learn to do that?"

Thesis sighs, rolls her eyes at her own mnemonic. "Would you believe me if I said it was my father?"

I remember him, faintly. He's no longer around and that goes without saying.

"When he returned from the mortal realm he always had smoke in his lungs and cold beers in his hands. If he wasn't drunk he was high and mighty and angry. I learned pretty quickly that I could either pull him back from the grave he was digging or give him a brain freeze to last most of his lifetime." She fiddles with the braid across her shoulder, voice distant. "It's like he found justice in burying himself alive. Far be it for me to stop him from living out his own death fantasy, you know?"

I don't know how to reply to that. My own father, as mortal as her own, suffered the same fate. The exact same fate down to the gruesome death at the alter of Drusoi surrounded by those who once...and still, loved him. The only difference is: her father never wanted to escape and mine sacrificed himself for a freedom he couldn't obtain. Funny, they both went down with a born-again fury in their eyes.

"I didn't come here to talk about how terrible my childhood was or my traitor of a father, Mercy." Thesis plays with the frost beneath her fingers, eyes on my small backyard filled with semi-dead flowers and a swing set long forgotten.

I can't help but ask, "What did you come here for?"

"I could say I came here to know what was so urgent that you called me every time I hung up; or what Azriel said to you that day in the Pantheon sanctum because, in all honesty, it's been on my mind since; or what it is you see in Prey Wylder that stops you from running your blade through his chest...but they're all half truths." In stead of taking in a deep breath she releases one filled with frost and cold bearings, as if the she's the air balloon going higher and higher with no way of coming back down. "I just...wanted to know if it was worth showing up."

I'm at a loss. "What is it that I see in Prey? You're the one that dated him."

"Do you hate me?" She asks. It's an honest question but I don't know if I have an honest answer.

"I don't...I never hated you Thesis. And if I thought I did it's only because I remember how much it hurt when you left me. I dislike you for leaving me but I don't hate you. Sometimes though...sometimes I despise ever knowing you."

She gulps, laughs a little. "Do you know why I dated Prey?"

"Because you're an impertinent squonk with horrendously low standards."

At this she laughs again but it's real this time. It stirs up memories I don't want to see but demand to be felt. "Okay, sure. But the real reason is...that I was trying to get your attention. So that you would talk to me."

"You got it."

Thesis shakes her head. "No, I didn't. I wanted jealousy but I got hatred instead. Prey was the only one who benefited from it I suppose. I saw the way you looked at him then...as if you'd do anything to bring the world around him to ruin. Like if I wasn't standing there you'd march over and rip his heart out right out of his chest. For some weird, demented reason...he liked that. He enjoys knowing you hate him. And yet, he's alive and...it doesn't feel like you are anymore."