rainbow boy - minsung

false

"see chris i hid this from you. but i never lied about it . " chris thought about what hyunjin was saying and it was very true. hyunjin never lied about his home life because he never spoke about it in the first place. and chris believed him. and i believed him. because unlike me hyunjin could admit his mistakes and tell the truth.

"but jisung. jisung is just a twisted liar. "

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emma was the first one to move. her head whipped around almost before hyunjin could finish the word 'liar'... which.. that was me. i was the liar and i had a lot on my plate to confess. everyone was still in confusion except emma who had snapped out of it, although she now displayed a rather scared reaction as she came to her senses. 

i guess its now or never... emma would have let it out anyways. i mean i could have just broken up with her but my stupid dumbass self just kept pushing on and on and on until someone had the audacity to break it out instead of me.  and i don't know if this is going to make it easier or worse. 

but i thought back to the memories. the things that were able to happen during these twisted times. i had my first kiss. i remember the chill of the roof top winds and i swear i felt that same wind chill my spine just at the thought of the kiss. 

i felt love. i held hands and slept with and shared cuddles with the most amazing human being to ever exist. lee minho. who was now anxiously analyzing the situation from the other side of the hall. he was my favorite person. and i was about to hurt him.. really bad too. i had lied about not loving him when i really did. and it caused him so much damage to have me decline his affection for a fake relationship . hopefully after this is situated tonight i can ask minho out and we can settle to fix each other, sharing many moments like we had been before. if he would accept me back that easily...

i found out what it was like to date a girl, something i'll never do again. and emma was so sweet and kind to me through all of this. someone who truly deserves such passionate adoration and love and respect. something that i could tell only hyunjin could give her. 

i realized how caring chris truly was for his sister. and although emma wanted to take the whole blame for this i just couldn't let her... even if i was gonna let her live up to her word, her brother would forgive her and not me. and that was ok. in the moment i realized how stupid i was too.

i showed such love to minho that was just to make him happy... which hurt him because he thought it was all fake just to make him happy when i truly meant to do all the things we did. people would be rather confused as to why minho would be upset with me but he was about to find out that i was pretty much lying because i was embarrassed to date him and scared of chris.. and the chris part was kind of stupid. he wouldn't hurt me. 

but alas, everything comes out at one point. minho did to everyone, i  did to emma, and now my secret will. and with that secret coming out so will i. they're all gonna know i'm gay. and i was terrified. wasn't coming out something that i  was supposed to do and not hyunjin? people are going to ask me what it was like to come out and i'll be struck with heartache and and not acceptance.

i was running out of time to think. the room couldn't stay this silent much longer. my thought broke and i stopped focusing on the faint sound of music coming from far away. how far down the building had we gone?

the moment in front of me returned though. i was out of the past and in the present now, and it didn't feel right. the silence broke. chris spoke up. 

"jisung what is he talking about. i don't get it..?" i realized now that if i didn't say something hyunjin would. and i kind of wanted him to be the one to admit it but i knew honesty would grant me less of a penalty... hopefully. 

"i-..." this was harder than i thought. i just stood and stuttered as my eyes soared wildly around the room. it was painful to live in the past and present at this point... and i cant live in the future because it's unpredictable as always. "chris i-"

"jisung we don't have all night. you either fess up or i'll do it." hyunjin firmly explained to me. and at this point it looks like he would be the one to admit it. 

"fess up to what! " chris was starting to get upset. if he was upset at not knowing what it was i can't imagine how upset he would be if knew. and soon he would.... i can just tell.

" jisung and emma's relationship? faux. false. fake. he's been telling you lies and emma has been hurt from the idea of being in a fake relationship with this selfish human being." hyunjin explained. " but oh hyunjin? why is it selfish? what is he using her for? because his ass is so scared of you for god knows what reason chris because that isn't the only thing he has to hide." chris had a pissed look very obvious in his eyes.. but he was also overwhelmed at everything he was taking in right now. he looked at me at one point but never again for the moment. 

"oh! you're a part of this too minho. and i would hate to ruin the genuine feelings you have for jisung, but did you know he is embarrassed to come out because of you? and he would be embarrassed to confess that this whole time he likes you because he doesn't wanna upset chris with you. " minho's chest stopped panicking and it fell deep down. 

everyone was quiet to gather a reaction. minho showed little to no emotion on his face to read. chris just paced and put his hands on his head in overwhelming anger. hyunjin stood off to the side now and emma looked at me with apologetic and guilty green eyes. 

chris turns to his sister.

"emma is this true?"