Becoming Truly Happy :Erisol:

Dave's Intermission

enjoy.
yes, this has zero relevance to the plot whatsoever. no, I dont care.

yo

what's up fuckers

its ya boy dave strider here to provide you with some sick fucking club penguin discourse

im just gonna lay it right out puffles are gay as fuck

like dude one of them was goddamn rainbow obama would endorse that shit not trump though hes too damn orange

who the fuck wants to look like a goddamn cheeto every fucking day the big d trump that's who

okay but there was this one puffle and no it wasn't the rainbow one which was real fucking depressing but i do have it on good authority aka my own goddamn eyes that this puffle was engaging in homoerotic shenanigans with another puffle which is at least better than being with a penguin

can you imagine

interracial puffle x penguin yaoi lemon smut boyxboy dont like dont read

that shits probably on wattpad somewhere i know i wrote it and im very proud

but anyway about this gay ass puffle

i was chilling on club penguin before it shut down and goddamn rip to that by the way what a beautiful game it was never forget

naturally i had a membership what kind of heathen do you take me for do i look like a simple club penguin non-membership loser to you thats right i fucking think not

chilling with my puffles at my igloo my ice cold crib you know how it is when you're famous on the internet i had shitloads of girls dropping their panties every time i logged on im just that suave even on club penguin i attract the ladies

my penguin was beautiful by the way thank you for asking i really think he represented me on an emotional level and by that i mean he spent most of his time either crying or whipping on a skateboard and picking up chicks and thats a big ass mood if ive ever seen one

so i have this puffle

well actually i have quite a lot of them one of them is named thomas jefferson and i regularly punch him in the face for no real reason you know i just feel like it

this story is not about thomas jefferson its about a pink puffle called jeremiah

naturally hes pink and called jeremiah what more do you expect

hes chilling in the corner of my club penguin mtv ready crib having a good time if he was human hed probably be sucking on a slurpee

and this orange puffle named jimbob the third like sidles up to him and in my head ive got that sexy ass lets get it on song because naturally thats the instinctive reaction to virtual fluffy creatures getting within a five foot radius of one another i mean what else are you supposed to do yknow

and they just start having at it

going at it like fucking rabbits

okay its less actual sex and more like just bouncing near each other but it counts im desperate for gay representation and validation and virtual creatures bouncing near each other is good enough for me

this went on for a good five minutes by which point i was bored as shit and walking in tiny circles around my igloo like a bored fucker does

lets get it on is stuck in my head the simple club penguin session has turned into an absolute shitshow

women and children evacuate first

there is screaming and fire god has forsaken us for fucks sake why

everything is spiralling rapidly downwards and no one knows what the fuck to do about it so they just kinda shrug and trump apparently bans transgender troops what's up with that

is this me on club penguin or is it representing the higher mysteries in life and how the world has gone slowly downhill ever since the moon landing im pretty sure

was that faked no one will ever know well they probably will but they wont fucking tell us now will they

goddamn government conspiracies covering up important information like can you just leak the tiniest bit we'll take anything we're desperate for the tiniest bit of hope

nasa is hurtling through space at alarming rates and people on the internet still like webcomics that have been dead for over a year like calm your shit fuckers its dead get over it

or move onto another webcomic yeah that'll totally fill the void in your soul

where the fuck is obama hes living the good life out there partying and shit while we're screaming into the void with alarming accuracy because we've all come so close to flinging ourselves in there at least once

i know i have

haven't we all

man this is getting sidetracked as shit i was just here with some good ass puffle discourse

puffles are gay: discuss

tumblr would jump right on that shit like its misha collins dick

did that hit a little too close to home for you tumblr

good get over it yall drooling over the man hes everywhere god fucking damn

anyway discuss this puffle discourse im interested

who am i talking to? myself for the most part thats not the sign of a crazy person wyd i just like to talk

and i generally mumble so i end up discussing puffle discourse with the air

lalonde says ill grow out of it i say no fucking way and ollie outie out of there like the badass i am hell fucking yeah

trauma and depression? dont know her

i cant believe club penguin is dead what an icon and now its gone honestly

didnt they replace it with that shitty ass mobile game like who the fuck is she with her skank ass fake club penguin she's never gonna beat the real deal dont even try hunty

honestly this tea is hot as shit

this tea about to drop the sickest album of the century

im the tea

this is me telling you im about to drop an album its called club penguin come back i miss you and its a real sad album about the torment that grows every day since it shut down

its a real relatable album full of sadness and raw emotion yall cant even deal

i should wrap up talking to myself soon youve been a lovely audience kisses to none of you that's gay

Dave, who are you talking to?

oh shit im caught gotta go @ me

im talking to nobody rose dearest what do you want

Stop mumbling to yourself, Dave, we're headed to the cinema. Are you coming?

shit not gonna pass up an opportunity like that count me in

peace at myself

laters

Author's Notes:

was this an excuse to ramble as dave? absolutely

i lied its sorta related to the plot or at least it'll be referenced next chapter

hope you enjoyed more content coming soon hopefully but probably not just this fic check out my other ones nyall

yeet