The Aliveagainers

16 - Lost

It's been a good half hour or so since I threw up and Jamie finally stops the car. He pulls it over slowly and I see thick pine branches wrap around us through the rear window.

"Ok, let me see that," he says and he gets out of the car then opens my side.

I sit up slowly, feelin' weak and cold. Jamie takes the cloth from me and motions to Késhaun.

"Hey, buddy, why don't you try cleanin' that up a little, while I look at her arm?"

Késhaun nods and kneels down to clean up my vomit and I manage half a laugh.

"What's funny?" asks Jamie as he reaches around for the first aid kit and pulls it closer to him.

"Here I am worryin' about throwin' up in your car, meanwhile the whole world's gone to hell."

He smiles. "Well, it is my parents' car."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

He wipes some antiseptic solution along his hands and arms and then swabs a cloth.

"This will sting, sorry."

I sit up properly and hold my arm out. It's coated with blood, some has thickened into sticky streams coursin' across a stained parchment of skin. The wound is long, maybe four inches, and goes up the middle. I realise I'm lucky she didn't get it a bit higher up at my wrist, or cut any deeper.

He swabs at it and I grimace, tears wellin' in my eyes. I see Késhaun flinch and he shakes a little.

"It's okay, baby," I say as calmly as I can although this hurts like nothin' I've ever felt before.

"Now, this bit is going to be worse," says Jamie glumly.

I look down to see him holdin' a pair of big ol' tweezers with a hook-like needle clamped tight. He's threadin' it carefully and pulls it back, then moves towards me. The cut on my arm looks like a dark, red snake.

"Try to think of something nice," he says with half a laugh himself.

"Alright," I say and look out the window.

It's a bit darker, partly on account of the pine trees, but I can see a shard of light above and know that it's clouded over. It's also cold, really cold. Not cold like when they come, just genuinely cold.

He squeezes my arm and then slides the needle in. The pain bursts through like a fire and I jolt.

"Stay still!" he says.

I nod and take a deep breath, tryin' to calm myself as I feel him movin' the needle through. I can feel it slidin' in up and through and in and under. The stab of the edge and the yoke as it pulls through hurt, but they cut in a way that's almost half a world away. I shut my eyes and for just a second of a moment I imagine I'm just gettin' some stitches at the ER and gettin' ready to head home for some beers with her. And I open my eyes and there ain't nothin' good around.

I look outside and see Késhaun throw the bloody cloth out into the woods and then look around. He's standin' right in the middle of the road and I almost want to warn him to get off but then I remember we ain't seen a single other person since the army beat past us ... two days, no, was it three days ago?

The needle slides out and Jamie loops it back again and there's a respite for just a moment. He does it again, then again and soon I find myself a bit numbed to the pain.

The air smells fresh and clean outside, thick with pine and the rich, earthy smell you only get up here in the lakes away from the city. Although I grew up here it's been a long time since I've been back, pretty much the last time was with her down by the lake. I wonder why I ain't come back again sooner.