Beautiful Mess (Book II)

Chapter twenty-five

"Never let your past experiences harm your future. Your past can't be altered and your future doesn't deserve the punishment."

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•Kyle•

I close my eyes and take a deep breath before knocking on the door. You're doing this for Jess, Kyle. For Jess. I remind myself.

The door opens and Jeremy stares at me with wide eyes. "Hey! Hi! Kyle, you're here!"

I would've found his enthusiasm amusing if I wasn't dreading the next moment.

"Yeah, I uh..." I point into the house and he understands what I mean.

"Martha's inside. Why don't you come in?" he asks, giving me a hopeful smile.

She steps out from behind him before I can reply. And the expression on her face perfectly mirrors his.

"You came!" She steps forward and hugs me. I stand there, unmoving just like when she hugged me last night. "I can't believe it," she says quietly, stroking my hair.

I pull back after a moment, and my own throat tightens as I see her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I have to talk to you about something."

"Come in then," she says without skipping a beat, her smile fading into a worried expression.

"No, I..." I glance at Jeremy and he gives me an encouraging smile. "I need your help," I mumble, looking back at her.

She nods, urging me to explain.

"Please help Jess. You're the only one that can... that can do something about this."

Her eyes widen and her hand flies to her chest just like when she saw us that day at the funeral. "What happened to her?"

"She's... she's pregnant."

Her lips part but can't form any words. And then she glances at Jeremy and looks back at me, a smile forming on her face. "My baby girl. She's going to be a mother." A tear rolls down her cheek.

"She wants to get an abortion," I say quietly, and her smile fades. "She's scared of being a mother, because she thinks she's going to mess up." Another tear rolls down her cheek and I continue. "She's worried that... she'll turn out like you."

She takes a sharp breath and looks dizzy for a moment. Jeremy quickly steps forward and holds her shoulders, supporting her weight as if she's about to faint.

"Please do something," I whisper, but I'm sure they both heard me. "You have to. It's the least you can do. Fix what you ruined. This is all your fault, so--" I can't continue. Tears burn my eyes and my hand flies to my mouth to hide the sob that's threatening to escape. "She's my sister. She's... I already lost her once, I can't lose her again. She can't survive without Trevor. He brought her out of the horrible life she was in, he helped her start over. If this comes between them, she won't be the same again. Fix this, please. You owe her this!"

I'm not sure how much they heard since my words are muffled by my hand, but they're both staring at me with a pained look on their faces.

She steps forward without a word, and throws her hands around me in a hug. Her hands tighten around my waist as we both continue to cry. I don't hug her back this time either, but I can't deny that being held by my mother made me feel... better. And I hate myself for it.

"Let's go then." She sniffs, releasing me. "I'll try my best."

*    *    *

The door opens and Rae smiles at the sight of us. She steps forward and gives my mother a hug. Walking in, I see that Jess hasn't moved from her spot on the couch. I step closer and stand in front of her until she looks up and notices me.