An Underswap AU: A Tale of Seven Book 1

Answer Box Batch 1

Justin: *childishly vandalizing a poster of the Royal Guard, especially Alphys' picture* Sanity? What sanity?

Alice: *staring through the fourth wall* That's a concept we have not been able to grasp for a really long time. *bites her ice cream like a boss. . . and chews it*

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Asgore: Hm? *stops sipping his tea*

Random Froggit 1: Is something the matter, Mr. Dreemurr? Ribbit. *settles his teacup on the table*

Asgore: O-Oh, it's nothing. I just thought I heard someone ask me a question. . . Strange.

Random Froggit 1: Croak. You must've missed your children.

Asgore: *sad sigh* Very dearly.

Random Froggit 2: You're not the only one. Ribbit. The Ruins is way too quiet without them.

Asgore: Maybe I should call them. They haven't messaged me since the time Gerard texted regarding their arrival at the Waterfall.

Random Froggit 1: *excitedly* Ribbit! Get on with it, then!

Random Froggit 2: Can we say hi, or do you want to say hi for us? Croak.

Asgore: *fishes out his phone from his pocket* I'm certain that the children will be delighted to talk to you as well.

Annoying Dog: *appears out of nowhere and snatches the phone* Arf! Arf! Arf! *proceeds to stare at the three while holding the phone hostage in its mouth*

Asgore and the two Froggits: *stares back*

Asgore: Now, that's a good doggie-!

Annoying Dog: *runs away with the phone*

Asgore: N-Now, don't do anything rash! *stands up from his seat and chases the dog* Give it back! The phone doesn't belong to you! *his voice fades in a distance, regularly accompanied by playful barking*

Random Froggit 1: *hops off his seat to help Asgore*

Random Froggit 2: *hops off his seat to watch the chaos unfurl before him* Finally, some entertainment.

*And henceforth, the reason why Asgore can't call his kids most of the time has been revealed.

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Viorel: I think that in general, the monsters we've met were nice. Sans is really loud and quite eccentric, but he's also kind and very hard-working. Papyrus might be a bit lazy-

Sans: *currently recalibrating his puzzles in Snowdin Forest* ACHOO!! *sniffles* I SENSE AN UNDERSTATEMENT REGARDING MY BROTHER'S INDOLENCE!!

Viorel: - yet I can tell that's he's also a good big brother to Sans and Lux. *giggles silently* Speaking of the tiniest skele-sibling, Lux is adorable! And so is MK! *pales and shivers slightly* L-Lastly, about Alphys, I-I don't- *gulps* I don't like her. I don't think any of us w-would.

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Saturn: *evil smirk* Bold of you to assume I haven't.

*Meanwhile, at a certain skeleton's sentry station in Snowdin

Papyrus: now, it's just you and me, my precious. *giddily opens the bottle of honey and chugs it down* !!! *chokes on his drink and spits it out* t-this isn't honey. . . ! *checks the rest of his stash only to find out that all of his prized honey had been replaced with mustard* O_O

*Snowdin, Underfell Universe

Fell: *is turning his house upside down in search for his mustard stash while yelling a few choice words*

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Gerard: I didn't get a chance to actually train since we're on the move. As for the second question, I'll just let my middle finger do the talking.

Jaede: Language!

Gerard: I DIDN'T EVEN SAY A CURSE WORD!

Jaede: narrows her eyes* Body language.

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Jaede: Well, profanities for one. I don't really get why people keep on saying them. Those terms weren't exactly creative insults. *sighs in dismay* Ironically, two of my brothers happen to access their curse word dictionaries on a daily basis. No amount of brushing can clean their mouths now.

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Justin: I've been suspecting that for quite some time now. *glares at a certain weed hiding behind a rock* But since he's not actively trying to murder us like a certain oversized lizard, I decided to just ignore him. He's not worth my time. *scoffs* And how dare you assume I like cuddles?

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Alice: Nearly half of everything Sati does counts as bothersome.

Chara: That's harsh.

Alice: . . . She painted a baby lion dissecting its mother on the wall on her side of the room using Viorel's black light paint. The spilled innards were disturbingly detailed, and the blood splatters were eerily realistic.

Chara: O_O

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Chara: I like all of them! Gerard and Saturn are fun to be with, I can always trust Justin and Alice to keep us in line, and Viorel and Jaede are really nice! For the second question. . . *inhales* They're not the author of this AU. . . henceforth they have no rights to dictate my sex here. I. AM. A. GUY. Period.

Viorel: Nope, you're a trap.

Chara: SHUSH! Ò∆Ó