From The Beginning

2 - The unfortunate

"Allah does not burden a soul beyond it can bare" ( 2 : 286)

I could barely feel myself, my head was hurting so badly from crying too hard, I looked at my hands which was pale and cold, I've been squeezing it too hard, warm tears rolled down my cold cheeks, I couldn't loose anymore.

It's been an hour since the nieghbours helped me out to get Ma' to the hospital, and everything around me was happening too fast, 3 hours ago I was on my bed, being her little girl and now this minute feels like alot has been put upon my shoulders.

I walked myself to the washroom as I stumbled a little, when I got up
- what if no one ever helps me out again when I've lost myself

Thoughts rushed in as I started, crying again.
I looked myself at the mirror, to see a girl so pale, her puffed up eyes and long dark lashes wet.
I adjusted my hijab, how carelessly I wrapped it around my head, when  rushing to the hospital.

Since I was 10, I grew up alone with my mother in Dubai, My father left us back, for another women, when we lived back in Sri Lanka,and there was only once we visited Sri Lanka in this 9 years of time.
Ending up alone in an unknown land with girl was tough, we hardly knew anyone here, she worked as a teacher and I studied in the same school, until she retired few years back, but still tutored online.
I was a first year HR student, in the university.
she always wanted to give me the best she could, what I was always taught by my mother was to be content and happy for what I have, and even though the loss of my father was quite heartbreaking, I have managed myself, to be grateful for what I have.

- "Maira" I heard Zoha.
Zoha ran to me giving me a long warm hug, something I wanted so badly, making me feel at ease.

Zoha was my bestfriend ever since I moved to Dubai, she's been through my thick and thin. Her family was quite close to us, and it was very thoughtful of them to drop by when I really needed, but then it just striked me,

- "Jazakallah khairan wa katheeran Zoha for being here but how did you know? "

- "oh that, well we went over your place to bid goodbyes since we're planning to leave Dubai in 2 weeks"

- " In two weeks? Where? "

- "Sri Lanka."

-"Aight, now I actually feel like everythings being fast forwarded" and she gave a tight smile "

-" Don't worry dear, Ma' is going to be fine in no time" Zoha's mother asseverated, giving me an encouraging pat on my shoulder.

- "You probably haven't had anything for breakfast, come on let's go to the cafe in front  " Zoha dragged me before I could respond.

I was feelt much better after sometime. The doctor informed that it was a major heart attack and besides that her current situation didn't let the doctor give a firm statement.
barring that fact, I was on tenterhooks with an agitated soul.

Zoha dropped me home so I could freshen up and take some rest.
I prayed Asr and cried my heart out as much as I want, front of my creator. I kneeled down to him, my forehead on the ground, and to you I return, my heart started settling at ease.

I dozed off a little, just when my phone started ringing; it was from the hospital, I wasn't sure about answering the call, but I've  no choice left.

I rushed into the hospital, standing by the ICU door clutching the cold steel handle, with my sweaty palms and my heavy pantings echoed the silent corridors.