Understanding Ansh (LGBTQ Fiction)✔

Ansh Doesn't Shave

Chapter 6// Ansh Doesn't Shave

"Aunty! Aunty!" Ansh called out as loudly as he could, trying his hardest to get noticed by Leela Aunty amidst a large group of people who were crowding up at the front of the grocery store.

On realizing that his soft and slow voice wouldn't be heard, he made his way outside the crowd and waited patiently until the crowd dissipated and watched as Leela Aunty tended to the customers' orders for various commodities.

The grocery shop was a sole proprietorship which sold groceries at the counter on demand, unlike large departmental stores.

"I want a dozen eggs and a liter of milk." Ansh told Leela Aunty, handing over the required amount of cash to Leela Aunty.

She was a woman in her 50s who had an unquenchable thirst for gossip-mongering. She wore that smile that was meant to solicit people into revealing their poignant tales, after which she'd translate the stories in to an extravagantly overplayed scandal meant for human entertainment of the fickle mindedness .

Completely aware of what's to come, Ansh tried to get over with his work as soon as he could. Except, instead of retrieving the things he'd asked for, she leaned forward against the counter and pulled her eyebrows together and with a look of regret she said, "I heard that Vinodh kicked you out in the rain."

Ansh recalled the day Vinodh had prevented him from coming inside when it was raining heavily. "Oh. I wasn't kicked-"

"I'm telling you, that boy has no respect for others."

"I wasn't-"

"How can he kick the owner out of his own house?"

"Actually, that's not-"

"He treats you like dirt, isn't it time you put him in place? O'course it's not going to work, look at yourself, you're like a girl. Why would he listen to you?"

You're disrespecting me right now. Ansh thought as he internally scoffed. What? A girl? So what? He was who he wanted to be even if he had a conventional feminine disposition.

A heliophilous presence came to his side. "Shaving cream, please." Vinodh said in that usual turbulent voice, always carrying an icy rage and impatience.

Leela Aunty's attention divested away from Ansh and was now on Vinodh. She smiled at him ever so widely as if she had not just badmouthed him.

"Yes Sir!" She beamed at him brightly and went inside to fetch for the requested things.

Ansh looked from his side at Vinodh. Shaving cream? Ansh thought as he drew up his hand to his chin. Feeling his smooth skin void of any need for shaving, he wondered if he was truly older to Vinodh. Ansh had no need for shaving.

"You're like a girl."

Ansh defensively turned away his body further away from Vinodh. Leela Aunty came to the front, handing him over his things. She went back inside to work on Vinodh's.

Not knowing if he had to wait for Vinodh or if he could just leave on his own, he stopped and looked at Vinodh and then the road ahead of him. He decided to head his way alone. Ansh was right about to turn and leave when Vinodh asked him to wait for him. Ansh was recovering from the moment of insecurity he was feeling and he smiled at Vinodh. Vinodh, obviously didn't care, for he didn't smile back and Ansh felt awkward again. Drawing his body away from Vinodh, he stared ahead.

Ansh was starting to remember all those times his father put him down for being the way he was. There was always an automatic presumption of being gay if a boy was feminine, although he tried explaining to others that sexuality had nothing to do with outward expression, it was all very futile. His father always hit him whenever he painted his nails. He loved pastel colors. His father always blamed Ansh's ways for having grown up without a mother. At least that was what the neighbors and his friends had told his father. When Ansh found out of his father's death, he felt relieved and he hated himself for feeling that way. A few days later, after his death, the grief was beginning to settle in and eventually, he felt angry that his father couldn't love him like a normal parent. He knew his father had loved him, only his love was always so inconsistent. So inconsistent that, they had grown apart and had become mere housemates.

"Let's go."

Ansh pushed himself from the counter he was leaning over and followed Vinodh.

Ansh couldn't help the question he would ask, "That day...why did you not let me in?"

"What day?" Vinodh's brows furrowed and he glanced up in recollection.

"It was raining and you did not let me in."

Vinodh's frown had ceased and he looked from his side at Ansh and said, "Sorry about that day. I had just fallen asleep after so much of tossing and turning when you woke me up."

Ansh just hummed in reply and looked ahead, trying to steer away from any obstacles on the road, mostly just rocks he could potentially trip over. He was clumsy like that.

"I opened the door a few minutes later. I'd presumed you had your keys but it appeared like you didn't. You were gone by then."

"I'd forgotten my keys. I slept in the storeroom. At the bookshop."

"Yes, I know."

"So it was you who had draped the quilt over me?"

"Yes...What...Oh! " The realization of what Vinodh had come to admit was a sight  Ansh could probably never forget. Vinodh was embarrassed. His ears had turned pink over his brown skin.

Ansh just hummed in amusement. Times like this, he felt older. Even with his bashfully lacking facial hair.

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