"I exist in two places; here, and where you are."
- MARGARET ATWOOD, CORPSE SONG
I took out a bottle of Pinot Grigio and brought two wine glasses to the kitchen counter.
"I thought this was a business meeting." Nadine stared at me while I struggled taking the cap off the bottle. "Are we really supposed to be drinking?"
I smiled while she watched me pour the liquor into the glasses. "The boss said we could."
My reply made her roll her eyes, but I could tell she was amused. "So, first order of business?"
"Your album. Let's go. We need to get you in the studio."
Nadine's eyes widened with delight, and her fingers started drumming weird beats on the porcelain countertop. "Really?"
I took a sip from my wine glass and nodded. "I told you we'll work on it this year, right?"
One of my favorite things about Nadine is how her eyes have no filter. You could always tell what she's feeling just by looking at them. And right now, as I observe them uncomfortably blink a few times in the last minute, it seemed that she was nervous.
"You did." The words barely escaped her mouth.
"Is there a problem?" I moved my right hand to reach her arm across the table but I took it back when I realized that it was inappropriate.
To my surprise, she grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. The action was so unexpected, the glass I was holding with my left hand almost slipped. Nadine saw it and giggled.
"Thanks, James. I was just worried that you were gonna tell me maybe now is not the time, and everyone would be so consumed by the pandemic, and all the crazy shit the government is doing to our country." She had not let go of my hand and I was relishing every second that she was holding it, I admit that I was only half-listening. I was paying more attention to the way she bit her lip after the last sentence, and how her eyes were soft with gratitude while they were staring at mine.
"You thought I'd push it back?" I asked.
"Yes."
"It's you." I sighed and clasped her hand tighter. "You know I'll always make a way if it's you."
We spent the next hour in the office drinking wine and listening to demos of the song I wrote for her album. She had a paper and a pen in her hand for taking down notes and re-writing lyrics. I just sat on my swivel chair and watched her react to the music while sitting on the carpet.
"Play the one before this. I really like the bridge." Nadine said while putting her hair up. Beads of sweat were visible on her head and she was breathing heavily from too much dancing. We were almost done with the bottle of wine, and I was starting to worry that she would not be able to drive herself home.
"Nadine, it's almost midnight." She did not pay attention to what I said at all. She just drank more wine and took her slippers off. The music was not playing and I was stuck watching her while also thinking about how I'd handle this situation. I could say I'd drive her home but knowing the two of us, we would not let either of us hold the wheel while we're like this. I could vividly picture our moms face filled with disappointment just by thinking about it.
"I said I wanted to hear the song again." Nadine walked to my station and she was so close, I could smell her lotion. And I didn't believe that scents trigger memories until I saw her in the master's bedroom, coming out of the shower, wearing a satin robe, smiling at me. Shit.
Nadine was able to steal the mouse from me and started pressing random keys on the keyboard. I was still recovering from the vision in my head, that I could not even process coherent thoughts. Hair dripping wet, hands going back and forth against her arms while applying body cream, the one that smells like shea butter and flowers. Goddamnit, I want to touch her so bad.
