Who Will It Be Then?

Prologue

Bea's note:

Welcome to this new story of mine! This is a way for me to explore writing and trying to mix fiction with my life experiences. I'm still trying to improve the way I write so I would really appreciate if you share your thoughts in how I could make it better.

Also, this prologue is inspired by the song Lifetime by Ben&Ben. I encourage you to listen to the song or play it as you read. Just to set the vibe and make you feel the story better.

Happy reading! 😊

•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

Charles De Gaulle Airport
Paris, France

JENNIE’S POV

Another day, another day that I regret not choosing you.

Several years had passed already but there’s still that void in me that I can’t fill in. I still wait in vain with the hopes that your memories will be erased by someone else.

But how ironic, after several relationships that have ended and was replaced by another, it’s still you that matters.

Regrets, what ifs, those things that I never thought of experiencing but are now what only occupies my waking hours.

If I could just go back in time, I would choose when you were mine…mine to hold, and mine to love. Because my younger self just took advantage of your love.

I can still remember waking up to your beautiful face, how youthful and fresh and how lucky I am to see that first thing in the morning everyday. We were partners in crime, we were each other’s shadow, and each other’s safe place.

We were young, barely there, barely able to know what we feel. We were each other’s firsts and ended as each other’s almost. For our youth is what drove us apart.

We were too ambitious, too greedy of taking opportunities.

That was us—or was that only me?

I can still remember your amused smile as you listen to my talks about my dreams—dreams that I only thought for myself. And for that, I will always be sorry, for I failed to see and feel your pain. I failed to see how your eyes scream of hope that somewhere in my dreams and aspirations, I will include you as well. But no, I just went on with daydreaming for I was blinded by my ambition. Where I only see me, and no other.

But can’t you blame me for wanting a better life? Wanting to be away and be far from the hard life that we have that time? I think, yes. You won’t blame me for it. Because you are the most selfless person that I’ve ever known. You are so giving, so understanding that you tend to compromise even there’s nothing left of you.

You are a ball of sunshine and of all the things I wish to experience again is to see you laugh. I can still hear your hearty laughter, how carefree you sounded, and how full of life. Because you always wanted everyone around you to be happy, wanted me most to be happy. That’s what you always say. And that’s why I never saw you cry, but it was only one time and I can’t forgive myself about it.

There’s no one that could compare to you or maybe because I’m still stuck in your memory that I fail to see what the world could offer.

But you are my world.

No…

You were my world.

I lost the right to call you my world, the moment I stepped out of the orphanage. Leaving you behind, left to fend for yourself.