Dichotomy

Living in the past

It's never been easy for me to let go.

I know people will mature and grow,

we'll grow apart, and time will fade the scars.

But it's not easy to let go of the memories,

of the laughs, and cries, and yells.

Every bit of memory made our interaction take refuge within me.

When you're married, will I be?

When you're old, will I have lived to see?

When I'm tired and alone, will you finally have a place to call your own?

I have to remember... Time changes all.

A friend I once knew... wouldn't be a friend for long.

A lover I never had, was so close but too far to touch...

My request, and selfishness, has always been too much.

When I close my eyes I see you, and every face that has left.

I see their hurt and laughter, I understand why they wept.

Maybe I'm delusional, I hope for too much.

My heart lives in the past, and I can feel myself slowly dying.

Because if a flower sees nothing but shade...

its light withers away.

I'm naive, and foolish, and stupid.

I doubt myself too much, I overthink, and never breathe,

my scars burn to touch.

I love too loud and lick my wounds quietly, I've known this since I was small.

It's always been a part of me... I think it's made me strong?

Too much questioning... I really need to move on.