a heart caddy

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He tinkered with the worn-out guitar, plucking the rusty strings here and there. The old thing still works miraculously even though it's patched and held by tapes, wires, rain-soaked dreams and cardboard wishes. As long as he didn't play it roughly, it's as good as any other guitar.

It was night. The wasteland they sheltered in was shrouded in black, save for the small bonfire the kids had built to warm their cold bodies.

("Can you sing for us?" Moon had asked, boredom evident through the fray of her ruined sleeves.

Bobby chuckled upon hearing her request. "I can't sing."

"Please. Please please pretty please?"

He gave in easily.)

He strummed the first few notes and began to sing. The kids joined, slowly. One by one they opened their mouths, recalling the song that they thought they had forgotten.

-

Every day when he wakes up to a new day, he likes to sit near the tent flap and watch the dark skies outside. He does this one hour before dawn.

When it was the quietest.

(Not even one cricket can be heard.)

When they were at the most vulnerable.

(It was safe anyway... for now.)

The kids were sleeping in separated spaces. Girls over there. Boys over here. They threw a banter over their spot and established a clear boundary that neither of them should cross, or else that person will have to be punished.

His hands are fiddling with a wooden bead bracelet, the varnish coating already worn thin due to its weak resistance towards water. Bobby adjusted the elastic black and that held the piece of jewelry together. The kids mistook it to be a rosary at first, though it's too small to be called one.

("It's supposed to offer some kind of protection."

"You believe that kind of thing?"

"No. But my old man wanted me to have it.")

The original owner gave the bracelet to him. In exchange, he gave her his woven bracelet, to which she modified it into a necklace. Easier to carry around, she had claimed.

Protection. Pft. How ironic.

He lost Sera the day they exchanged their trinkets.

-

"Terang, terang
Sudut kecil ku isi,"

He strummed the guitar. Didn't care about the weird tune that didn't match the song at all coz one of the strings was already broken.

"Untuk senyumanmu lagi,"

It was an old song, yet the kids knew the lyrics and they sang together with him.

Which he was really thankful for.

Because he didn't think he could continue singing any longer.

"Berbaring renung kita ke bulan,"

"Lagu yang ku tulis ku nyanyikan,"

"Lagu cinta..."

"-tentang kita berdua,
Yang kan kita kenangi hingga tiba masa,"

The boys' voices overlapped in harmony as he felt his throat clenched tighter and his jaw fell slack. He can't- he couldn't...

This was the song she used to sing to herself every night. When exhaustion seeped into her bones but the sleep hadn't quite registered in her mind yet, when her eyes settled on the star-draped night sky while they cuddled close to the opening of the tent they shared together. His hands continued to play, albeit a little rougher as Bobby willed himself to not let the tears spill. He shouldn't grieve in front of the children.

"Terang, terang,
Bersama rasa sayang,
Ku biarkan kau terbang,"

He let her go from his clutches and he dared to hope that she was still out there, alive. Probably lost. Not knowing where to go.

"Terang, terang
Sudut kecil ku isi,"

Sera is still alive. He knows that. She's not dead yet. She just couldn't not find her way back home. To him. To the kids they had taken in. He missed her smile, her laugh, her assuring touches, her everything.

"Untuk senyumanmu nanti."


______________

A bobbysera post-apocalypse AU. OC X Canon as a small treat.

This fic shared the same universe with 'do you hear' chapter.


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