Oblivion

Fall Asleep

I'm secretly a hopeless romantic. In my head I come with a thousand different scenarios of what could possibly happen every time I encounter a stranger. I know that sounds odd, but it helps my mind find peace.

They say that  you can't fall asleep when someone is dreaming of you. My question is then, is it possible to dream of someone you haven't even met yet? In stories like fairytales there is talk of meeting the man of their dreams. How could they possibly know? Especially since hardly anyone remembers every little thing that occurs in their dream.  I think dreams are significant to define what kind of person we are, and what we hope to achieve in life. Dreams mess with our mind creating the perfect escape from reality. I also think that when a person falls into a coma all they are really doing is succumbing to the alternate reality that their mind has created for them. I meet new people everyday but how am I suppose to know when I meet the man of my dreams? The thing is I won't.

I've had my heart broken before, ooh big shocker, but I have. It doesn't feel like you can't breathe without the person or you lost part of your soul. Now of course granted some people would say I wasn't truly in love then. My definition of love is being able to trust someone completely and so much so you trust them with your heart. The only time I would get heartbroken is when they violate this trust. So of course someone has to, I hardly doubt people dream the love of their life immediately. Some do though. Lucky bastards. When I get my heart broken I slowly but surely start closing myself off to some scenarios I create in my head. It does make it harder to find my dream man, but it makes it easier to keep myself from heartbreak.

When I close my eyes I don't see the back of my eyelids. I see those scenarios I dream of play out in my head. Many of my dreams don't even have people I really know in them. Many of them are people I simply passed by and thought well 'damn you are mighty fine'.

I look over at the empty half of my bed right now wishing someone was there to occupy it. 

My mom always warned me not to give up my heart too quickly. Now I'm worried I won't ever give it up at all. I slowly started to lose hope until I met him. At least I think I did...

He was tall and lanky and awkward. Basically the description of all my past relationships but he was different. It sounds cliche and it is but it was this feeling I had. I looked at him out from the corner of my eye. He was a stranger to me and this scenario in my head was different from all the others. It played out until I was old and dying and he was still by my side in this scenario, in many of the others they leave or die at one point of another but he sticks through.

I think I must've blanked out or something because he saw me staring. Instead of looking away though, he looked right on back at me. Almost as if he saw the exact same thing that I was seeing now. He held me in his gaze, I think he knew what his look was doing because he refused to look away even as the boy he was with persisted that they must move on.

Finally he released me from the invisible hold he had. I practically ran to get away with him. Suddenly I remembered the even bigger fear I had than being hurt, beng alone. I have never had this happen to me and I didn't want to let him get away. So I slowly walked back trying not to show that I was in a hurry. I finally made my way back to where I was before but he was no longer there. The anger I had building inside of me was probably visible to everyone. I can not believe I let this happen! I might've found someone who I could let go and not be afraid with and he was gone. I didn't even know his name.

I turned around to go to somewhere else I honestly don't even remember where because I was completely startled and flabbergasted by the fact that my mystery man was right behind me. And get this, I had bumped into him, almost fallen flat on my ass but he held onto me so I didn't fall. The smirk on his face oozed danger and confidence, but I was curious as to who this man was.

"Thanks" I said pulling my way out of his strong grasp.

"No problem, although you should watch where you're going."

My gratitiude dissappeared then. I hated being told what to do. I spun around on my heel and walked away. Part of me regrets doing that, especially without getting his name. Though I think I am more glad I did it. I beat out the hopless romantic part of me. 

I always meet unexpecting people in unexpected places. I had run into my dear friend Shay and we had gone out for a shopping day. Not even she knew of my secret romantic side. I was all tough as nails to everyone else. Just one of the guys. I then saw a sudden lanky person out the corner of my eye. He was in Victoria Secret. 'What a perve' I whispered to myself. Shay just looked at me and then looked out to see what I was staring at. She started chuckling her ass off. 

He turned around and stared at us. He was holding me in his gaze once again.

This time though he was walking over to us. I wanted to run or something anything but his stare was holding me there. It was like he was choking the life out of me. Shay was too busy laughing to notice much of anything. When she finally came back to reality she began tugging on my arm, I wanted to leave too but couldn't.

"Hey again stranger" he said looking at me, not even glancing at Shay.

"Hi" I wanted to sound nonchalant but it came out more breathless.

He finally released me from his stare and turned to Shay.

"Well hello there, I am Daniel." He took her hand and shook it holding it as if it was going to break in his hands.

I felt the jealousy oozing inside of me. He had introduced himself to her and not me. Plus he was holding her hand.

"Yo I'm Shay" she then gestured towards me "this is Skye, but you two seemed to already have met."

"Yea we have." I practically whispered.

Daniel let go of Shay's hands then and was looking at me. I didn't want to look up I had started staring at the ground in case he decided to look at me again. I would not be held hostage to his gaze anymore.

"I best be off."

His footsteps were so silent I didn't hear him leave. When I looked up he was already gone. Nowhere in sight. Strange. Shay just looked after him at a loss for words for once. I did the same.