Heart's Redemption (MxM)

Chapter 40 ~ Sam

I have to save Ian. I don't care what it costs.

I focus on that, on that single conviction, repeating it over and over in my mind, and not daring to stop.

If I stop, I might forget.

The collar around my throat is sapping my will, the enchantment tangling its way through me like an invasive vine, dulling my emotions and slowing my thoughts. I think I can fight it, but not for long, and I need to choose the moment carefully. If I make my stand too soon, we might still be in sight or earshot of the Walkers, and if I wait too long, I'll lack the willpower to try.

I wait until we're some distance along the unpaved road, past the spot where it curves around the side of the lake and out of sight of the lodge (Karin must have a vehicle hidden around here somewhere, I figure), and then I make my move.

Summoning my strength, I stop walking, letting the chain go suddenly taut in Karin's hand and bringing him to a halt as well. He turns in surprise.

"Well well well," he murmurs, raising pale, theatrically shaped brows. "You've grown a bit since I saw you last, eh, little Sama?"

"My name's Sam," I snap, not wanting to waste time on word games, "and I want to make a deal."

"A deal?" he laughs. "What do you think I would want from you that I don't already have?"

"My obedience," I say, grating out the words between my teeth and sinking to my knees, showing him that I'm not going anywhere until he hears me out. "My willing service."

He studies me with interest, taking in the slight tremble in my limbs, the sweat beading on my brow, and the rigid set of my face as I fight the spell eating away at my will.

"You always were a stubborn little thing, weren't you?" he muses. "I suppose I would find it worthwhile not to have to break you every time you object to my...requests. But what are your terms? What is it you desire in return?"

I draw a breath that shudders past my lips. Once I speak it, if he accepts, there will be no going back.

Anything, I remind myself. Anything to save him.

"First, let Carlos go," I say, glancing at him where he stands beside Pax, staring into the middle distance with an unfocused gaze. "You don't want him anyway. He has, uh, airborne herpes," I invent. Pax takes a step back.

"And second, take this collar off me," I go on, trying to keep my voice from shaking. "Let me go. Let me try to save my friend. After that—whether I succeed or fail—I will be yours. I will be your instrument, Karinius. Your weapon. Your tool. I will serve you willingly, and obey you unfailingly, for the rest of your life."

He watches me carefully.

"Your word is your bond, Sama, and that is quite a bond you offer me. Who is this man?" he asks.

"He's my friend," I say, shaking harder as my will begins to erode beneath the relentless assault of the spell locked around my neck.

"Now, now—I know you cannot lie, Sama, but I have broken you enough times now to know when you aren't giving me the full truth. Who is he?"

If I say it, I'll cry, and I promised myself I'd never let Karin see my tears.

It can't be helped.

"I love him," I say, my voice breaking, and tears spilling hot and fast down my face. "I love him, and I belong to him more fully than I'll ever belong to you, because that's all he wants from me."

"How touching. You know if I take your terms, whether you're able to save him or not—and I rather suspect you will not—whatever bond you have with him will be broken?"

"Yes," I answer, spitting the words like poison, "I know it."

He locks his eyes on mine—his, dark and unreadable as soulless voids, mine probably bloodshot and filled with tears—and then very slowly, he nods.

"Very well, Sam. I accept your bargain. The deal is made."

I shut my eyes as I feel it take hold—chains far heavier and stronger than the one at my throat, though invisible and intangible as air.

"Roman, take that off him." Karin nods at the band encircling my neck and Roman takes the strange little key from his pocket and unlocks the clasp. I grimace as I feel his clammy fingers on my skin.

"I'm curious to see what trick it is that you have up your sleeve," Karin says. "How exactly you plan on saving this red-headed lover of yours. You realize the Walkers are Shifters, do you not? I doubt you can seduce them all. Not at once, at least."

"I don't plan on seducing them," I say as the collar falls away, pulling off my shirt and casting it aside. "I plan on tearing them apart."

Then I unleash all my rage and pain and fear, my love and my grief, my agonizing hope and my unfathomable despair—my entire soul in its full fury—and I let it transform me.

Karin, Pax, and Roman let out shouts of alarm and fall back as my demonic form takes shape: my body growing larger, my skin turning gold, the horns growing from my head, my hair falling in a black cascade to my waist, and of course the great wings sprouting from my back.

"You—you're—" Karin stammers, and in other circumstances I'd have relished the fact that I have him at a loss for words.

"I'm a demon, yes," I say, my Ainasyan voice richer and deeper than my human tones. "So you see what a wise deal you've made."

Once away from this place, once Karin had me back in his compound and had taken that damn collar off, he'd have been the one I'd have torn to shreds; but I couldn't wait that long.

To save Ian, I'd needed the collar off now, and the only way I could think of to do that was to offer this deal.

Karin might not have known I was a real threat—something more than capable of not only resisting, but of destroying him—but he did know that I could be a stubborn little shit when I wanted to be, and that I'd ruined his plans more than once just by being difficult. I'd known he'd take the deal just to save himself the future trouble.

Now I take a moment of pleasure in the look of astonishment and alarm on his pale, thin face, and in the sheer terror on Pax's and Roman's; and then, with a beating of wings, and in seeming defiance of natural law, I take to the air.