I Wish I Was Your Boy •• Matty Healy // George Daniel

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His body shifted beside me, dropping down.
We both blew out a mouthful of air at the same time, both breathless, over heated.

But very fucking satisfied.

Our faces broke out into a grin in sync, before chuckling to ourselves.

"Well that was.... fun" Matty said, shifting onto his side, propping a hand up to rest his face against it, now facing me.

His chest glistened with beads of sweat. His cheeks rosy. That just fucked look all over him. Looking like perfection. Like sex itself.

"You were so loud, though" He taunted playfully, before breaking into laughter, laying himself back down to chuckle.

"It's those skilled fingers of yours" I shot back, meeting his playfulness.

I loved it when he was like this. It was never awkward with us afterwards.

"Use your hands in my spare time" I winked up at him. "Any time"

Matty scoffed suddenly, but his attitude had suddenly shifted in a split second, as though he was now irritated.

Causing tension between us.

"Obviously not any time, you'd never bin me off for him" He said, now acting like a sulking child, shifting away from me slightly to show his annoyance.

And that's when it hit me....

Shit. George!

We'd been in here so long. I'd gotten lost in the moment with him.

"I need to go" I mumbled, knowing George would come looking for me if I didn't show my face soon.

My arm reached out, in search for my dress. Grabbing at anything. Knocking things over.

But it was a task in this dimly lit space, only the street light shinning through the windscreen.

"Here" Matty muttered, throwing an item of clothing straight at me.

Without looking, I threw the fabric over my head. Hurrying to leave. But pulling it down over me, I quickly realise it was his black t shirt I'd thrown on instead.

I grunted in frustration, now scared we could actually be caught any moment now.
Fear setting in that we were going to get caught out.

But Matty just laid there. In all his glory. Not yet ready to make a move and unfazed at the thought his best friend could open the doors and see us here like this, any second now.

I begin to scramble around on my hands and knees, keeping his top on as I continued to search for my dress.
It had to be in here somewhere.

"My shirt looks so good, when it's just hanging off your back" Matty murmured, just laid watching me.

Back playful again with me as he attempts to squat a hand to one of my arse cheeks. Seeming to be enjoying this a little too much now.

"Matty!" I warned him. My high spirits quickly vanishing.

But it seemed my panicked state, only amused him further.

As though he wasn't at all fazed that he could potentially lose his long life friend from our stupid affair here.
And whether it was arrogance or just Matty being Matty, he'd always say that he wouldn't lose George from this. I would, we both knew that, but he was sure George would forgive his best mate at the end of it.

But if I lost George, Matty would lose me. That was the deal here.

My body dropped down in defeat, too panicked to function and think straight, suddenly feeling sober. Knocked sick with worry.

But it was more than a case of a hangover ready to hit me here.

Guilt began attacking me.

Why did I keep doing this?
How many more times was I going to allow this to happen?

It was getting to a point, I was struggling to convince George of my lies. Of my disappearing acts, where I'd been and who with.

And as this continued on, I was fearing Matty was getting closer and closer to blabbing the truth. Especially when he was like this. Fucked from the drugs and booze. Or even worse, jealous, that I always went back to his mate after our time together.

I sat upright, desperate to calm my racing heart beat. Trying to stop the pounding in my head.

Looking over my shoulder and seeing him just casually smiling at me, with heavy, blood shot eyes, sent fury into me. He was loving this all too much. Every second of it.

I'd always been the one in control here and slowly but surely, I was losing the power, to him. And he knew that. And he couldn't be more smug about it if he tried.

"Matthew, please!" I begged, frantic at this point. How can he not care? He knows what this would do to George if he knew about this.

"Okay, okay!" He snapped back, eventually giving in and got to searching for my clothing.

The van reeked of alcohol, fag smoke and weed.
And mixed with my guilt, I was on the verge of vomiting.

My dress was launched at me in the face as he threw himself back again sluggishly.

I quickly scrambled to get it on, desperate to just get away now. From him. This situation. Too close for my liking.

I pulled my boots on, one at a time, aware Matty's eyes were on me again as he laid, fag in hand, without a care in the world.

A quick peek at him, and as expected, he's smirking across at me. Like he had something he was desperate to say. I was sure at this he was playing the jerk card to get some reaction out of me.

"This isn't funny, Matty." I spat. Losing my patience with him.

Shaking my head at him, I stood and reached for the door handle to throw them open. To get the hell out of here.

But I'm frozen on the spot as that familiar voice belonging to my boyfriend, calls out for me.

Sounding as though he's right beside this van.
I jump back in fear,y heartbeat now erratic, hammering against my chest. Almost too fearful to even breathe now in case he hears.

What if he was there all along? What if he's heard us talking?
I was on the verge of an anxiety attack right now.

"Baby, don't go" Matty taunts, reaching a hand out and grinning, in his still fucked state. Making himself laugh quietly to himself.

He'd been popping the pills and snorting the white stuff like there was no tomorrow. I wasn't sure he even knew his own name at this point.

My eyes shot back to him in glare. Seeing the state of him. The closeness of our stupidity in almost being caught, realising this can't go on anymore from this point.

"This has to stop" I whispered back at him harshly, meaning it.

I couldn't keep doing this.
It wasn't worth it anymore.
For all our sakes, this had to end.

"Oh here we go" he whispers back, rolling his eyes dramatically at me. "Like I haven't heard that before" He groaned, choosing to ignore my tone and threw an arm up over his face, as though he was now attempting to block me out.

This arsehole!

"I have a boyfriend, you know. I mean it, Matty" I bit. Before carefully and quietly sneaking out of the back of the van to find George. Desperate to think up an excuse on the spot for him.

Desperately praying, I didn't reek of sex and guilt.