What Hurts the Most

Chapter 2

The last thing Emir wants to do is work with Reyhan to solve the mysterious threats to his father. But he doesn't think he'll be able to get rid of her. He ignores the part of him that's making his heart beat a little bit faster at the thought of being under the same roof as her again. He can't get pulled back in. He must remember that she left him. She divorced him. She doesn't want to be with him. He has to ignore the part that still wants to be with her. The part that still loves her.

"What are we going to do about this?" he asks her, holding up the note. "We need to figure out who left you this note so they can tell us what it means."

"Don't go! You don't know what happened to your uncle! His life is in danger! Nothing is like it seems. You shouldn't leave him alone," she reads out loud. "Does it matter who sent it? We have to figure out who's trying to hurt him. And what the danger is."

"And that's why we need to find out who wrote the note," Emir explains. "They must know something if they took the time to write this and give it to you. Plus, it will eliminate a suspect. Why would they write this note if they hurt my dad?"

She thinks about it for a minute, but then just nods her head.

"You're right," she says. "It's a place to start. But we do have one problem: how are we going to explain me being back? Especially after the way you just dramatically dragged me out the house."

He wants to smile at the playful, teasing glint in her eyes. He's forgotten how cute and funny she can be. But he squeezes his fist tight under the table, making sure his nails dig into his skin to remind him of the pain she's likely to cause him. This is why she can't be in the house for too long. Because it's too easy to fall back into the old habit of loving her.

"That's the easy part," he says, once he gets his heart under control. "Neither of us will like it, but we'll just pretend we've reconciled. On a trial basis, of course. Once we figure out who's threatening Baba, then we'll just say it didn't work out and you can leave again."

"Absolutely not!" she says. Practically screams it, actually.

The panic in her eyes sets off a warning bell in his mind, but his ego is too badly bruised to pay that much attention to it.

"Listen, Reyhan," he tries to reason with her. "If we don't want to waste time answering a lot of questions about why you're back ..."

"Not that," she says shaking her head. "We can't say that."

She seems terrified, he realizes. And he can't help but wonder what she's so afraid of. But he doesn't question her because he knows all too well that stubborn, determined look on her face. She won't give him any more answers than she did when he begged to know why she was divorcing him. So he tries to reason with her instead.

"Reyhan ... "

"Emir, we can't. Lütfen. Not this," she begs. "Let's just not say anything to the rest of the family for right now. I'll be spending most of my time with Dayı anyway. That should be a good enough reason to explain why I'm back."

"Whatever," Emir says with a sigh of impatience. And a bit of anger and disappointment. He doesn't know why he's surprised. She has made it clear on more than one occasion that she wants nothing to do with him. But her rejection still hurts.

"We're done here," he says, standing from the table. "Let's get back to the mansion and solve this. I'd hate to make you stay somewhere you clearly don't want to be."

He leaves her there and goes back to the car.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Reyhan closes her eyes and sighs, trying to hold back her tears. Everything she does seems to make Emir angry. He's right. The faster they figure out who's trying to hurt her uncle, the faster she'll be able to leave again. She can't blame Emir for how he's feeling. Everything he's accusing her of is completely accurate, but necessary. If he ever finds out what happened the night they were kidnapped, how he killed a man, he wouldn't be able to stand it. He'd turn himself in and the rest of the family would suffer because of her selfishness.

Pretending to be reconciled would be a disaster. Cemre would not stand for it. She'd run straight to the cops and show them the video. And everything Reyhan has given up would have been for nothing.

"I know you hate me," she says out loud, knowing Emir can't hear her. "But I would have hated myself if you had ended up in jail for the mess I dragged you into. All I hope is that one day you'll be able to forgive me."

And maybe then she'll be able to forgive herself.

She takes a few more moments to dry any runaway tears and then joins him in the car. She has to stop herself from closing her eyes and inhaling his scent that she's missed these past few weeks. She has to tuck her hands underneath her legs to keep from reaching out to touch him. Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe being back in such close proximity to him isn't a good idea. But it doesn't have to be awkward, she realizes. She can try to make things a little easier.

"Listen, Emir. I know this situation is hard on both of us. But I ..."

But I what? she thinks to herself. I'm sorry? I love you? I still want to be with you? She can't say any of those things to him no matter how much she wants to.

So she says nothing at all.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

They get back to the house and thankfully no one is waiting on them. Because at the moment, Emir doesn't have anything to tell them. So much has happened in the past few hours and he just needs a minute alone to process it all.

He shuts himself in his office and pulls out the note Reyhan gave him. He closes his eyes and lifts it to his nose. It still smells like her. And for just a split second, his heart is whole again. But just as quickly, reality steps back in and reminds him of the giant ball of pain his life has become because of her.

Why, after all this, do I still love her? he asks himself. But he is unable to give himself an answer to that very pressing question. All he can do is do his best to ignore what he's feeling and work with her to protect his father. His father should be his focus.

"Emir?"

Emir manages to slip the note under some papers on his desk to hide it when Cemre comes in.

"What is it, Cemre?"

"Are you okay? I can't believe that woman had the nerve to come back here. I hope you personally put her back on the bus to her little hick town this time. Good riddance. Now, you can get on with your life. Find and marry the right woman for you this time. Who knows, she might be right under your nose."

Cemre gives him a smile that frankly scares him a little.

"Reyhan is still here, Cemre," he tells her. "She's here for my father, that's all. There's no reason for us to have anything to do with each other."

"She's still here? Why?" her panicked tone confusing him. "Why are you letting this happen?"

"Calm down. Like I said, she's here for my father. His health is the most important thing." He gives Cemre a long, suspicious look. "Why do you care anyway? You don't live here. If you have a problem with Reyhan being here, then just go home so you won't have to see her."

"I'm worried about you, Canım," she says, quickly backing down from her previous tirade. "I know this can't be easy on you."

"I'll be fine as long as my father is fine. No need to worry about me. Now if you'll excuse me."

He gestures towards the door and waits for her to leave. He doesn't have time for Cemre's foolishness today. Besides, how can he explain to her something he can't explain to himself? How can he stop his heart from loving the woman who completely owns it?

All he can do at the moment is get Reyhan out of the house as quickly as he can. But to do that, he's going to need reinforcements. Before he can change his mind, he takes a picture of the note and sends it to Kemal. His uncle is rarely at the mansion, so if there's anyone trustworthy in this situation, it'll be Kemal. He can help figure this out quickly and get Reyhan out sooner. That'll be best for everyone.

If only Emir could make his heart realize it too.