What Hurts the Most

Chapter 10

Emir watches his wife sleep with the biggest smile on his face.

"My wife," he whispers in awe, tracing her every feature with his eyes. It's been too long since he's been able to just look at her like this.

She doesn't know, but that first night together, after their first wedding, he looked at her much like he's doing now. He allowed himself that one moment in time to just drink her in. She was so sweet and pretty and pure, and his heart instantly ached for her. His first instinct was to keep her close and protect her from the world. But he was too angry and stubborn to let his traitorous heart and those renegade feelings deter him from his plans to prove his father wrong.

"If only."

If only he had listened to his heart. If only he had gone with his feelings. If only he had protected her. Then maybe his mother and Cemre wouldn't have been able to hurt her. Maybe he wouldn't have hurt her the way that he did.

"I'm so sorry," he apologizes quietly, trying to avoid waking her. But she hears him and begins to stir.

"Sorry for what?" she asks with an adorable yawn. He can't help but smile and place a little kiss on the tip of her nose.

She sighs a contented sigh, blinking sleepy eyes at him. She cups his cheek and pulls him down to her, giving him a kiss.

"Günaydın," she whispers, nuzzling his nose with hers. "You should be in as good a mood as I am."

"I'm in a great mood," he tells her, sweeping her hair from her face.

"Then what are you sorry for?" she asks again.

He lets out a heavy sigh at the return to the topic.

"You were mine to protect," he tells her. "And I didn't protect you. I didn't take care of you the way I should have. I let them ruin us."

"Emir," she frowns. "I was the one who left. I ruined us."

"You were just trying to protect our family. I should have realized you wouldn't have done what you did without a reason. Our hearts beat as one," he says, placing one hand over her heart and the other over his own heart. "I can feel you right here. That never went away. I should have known your love for me didn't go away either."

"How about we promise each other, right here, right now, that from now on, we will trust our hearts," she suggests. "And remember that no matter what happens, we'll be able to get through it together."

She gives him a sad smile and blinks away some tears before continuing.

"So many times I thought about what would have happened if I had just trusted in us. If I had come straight to you after Cemre blackmailed me and told you about the video. But I was just so sure you would have turned yourself in. And I couldn't face the fact of this family losing you to jail. So I gave you up instead. It never even occurred to me that Cemre had lied about the whole thing."

"How about another promise?" he says. "Let's remember that no matter how hopeless a situation seems, it will only be worse if we're not together. And that if the only solution to a problem is us separating, then we look for another solution. I can't lose you again, Reyhan."

He hugs her when her tears start flowing more freely than before.

"I hate that I almost hate Cemre," Reyhan admits. "I'm ashamed that I feel that way. Ashamed that I want her to hurt the way that she made me hurt. And the way that she made me hurt you."

You're not the only one, Emir says to himself. He lets her cry herself out, but not for long. Cemre, and the anguish she caused them, doesn't belong in their bed. Even if this particular bed only happens to be a hotel bed.