the first month i discovered a had depression, anxiety and suicidal tendencies. i spent 13/30 days that month in a place called "kmbc". there i was evaluated. i learned that it was genetic.
for months before it got so severe I thought about dying almost everyday. until the month of septemeber/ october. within those months i had numerous suicide attempts, hospital trips, doctors appointments, my arms not only were cut but scared. i wasn't eating or sleeping and it was very unhealthy.
what caused it was losing the boy whom i thought was the love of my life and it just triggered me to end my life right then and there to get rid of all the pain. and looking back it's not what i should have done.
i had a great support system through it all and i never knew it until after words.
i relied on a boy for too much happiness and love which i should have relied on myself to give to me and not him and after he left i didn't think i could ever have it again.
i stayed at friends houses, my parents bed, i did anything i could to take my mind of the thought of dying but i couldn't. i didn't want to do any thing but leave this world for good. not caring whom id leave behind.
ive been called names for it but it's a mental disorder in which ive got in professional help for and to cure to some extremes.
i had my suicide note written and everything. i planned who all my stuff would go to and where i wanted to be buried.
i loved doing so many things and depression stopped me.
that month took a lot of people out of my life who i had thought cared and brought some into my life who i never caused would have.
