Goodbye

One Day We'll be Fine

Chapter Five

The weekend came around and not full of energy I stayed home the entire time. From my window I could see Marks driveway where a car would show up randomly, but I could never see who it was. I texted him multiple times since that day I visited him, but he hasn't answered. My mom leaves again tomorrow and I want to spend the day with her today. She still hasn't told me what she wanted to talk about at dinner the day she arrived, so hopefully she'll tell me today.

"Grace! Breakfast is served." It's been nice having my mom home for a couple of days especially now that Mark and I are having one of our fights. I go downstairs in sweats and his sweatshirt from the other day and set down at the table with my mom. "Are you feeling better today?"

"Somewhat⏤" In reality I couldn't feel better until I knew this fight was over, which could be soon. Tomorrow I will see him in school and make him talk to me, so what was the point of telling my mom I felt horrible about the situation? "I just want to know if he's ok, but he won't get out of talking to me tomorrow for sure."

"You guys have fought before, you'll get through it. That boy cannot live without Grace in his life and you can not go without him." Hearing my mom tell me that made me smile like an idiot. "Don't you remember when you guys were in fourth grade I took you to see your grandparents in New York? You cried for two days because you missed him and he would not stop calling every hour of the day to hear your voice and know you were ok."

I smile at her while I remembered that week in New York, "You couldn't separate us for over a week, he either slept over or I slept at his house every night when I got back."

"Yea⏤" I take a bite of my chocolate chip pancakes when my mother asks, "do you like New York?"

"New York? I like going, it's amazing to see all the lights and going to some of the places in the city is always fun. Why?"

"I know I should have done this forever ago honey, but I'm there so much and I miss you more than you can imagine. Would you want to move there with me?"

"Mom I-"

"I know you're almost 18 and you're going off to college soon, but I also know you applied for more schools in New York than here. Knowing you I know you will get in to more than half of those⏤" She was nervously rambling on and I didn't know what to say at her request. My mom has a place with my grandparents over there and whenever I visit it's the best, but this house is my childhood. "This house is all we have left of your father and it's right next door to your best friend, but every time I fly out here I can't help but remember getting the news of your dad. I just⏤"

"I know." I grab my moms hand, "I miss dad everyday I walk past your room and whenever I walk past the living room all I can picture is you breaking down the day they came to tell us." I take a deep breath before telling her, "Can I just get more time to think about it?"

"Of course honey, take all the time you need. At least for the whole summer I was thinking we could be together and have some time for us like these few days." I could tell my mom was being genuine and I wanted to say yes; however, leaving this house to live in New York meant I couldn't see Mark everyday. Then there was Aron, the guy who's been nothing but perfect⏤

After breakfast I get dressed and go to the mall with my mom. She wanted to spend the day out of the house since we've practically been inside the whole week. I didn't feel like going out at all, I didn't even want to see my boyfriend which isn't something you do when you're in a relationship. In my opinion if you're in a relationship even on your worst days you would want to be with them, but no matter how much I wanted to I wanted to be alone even more.

To ignore my emotions I focus on having a good day with the women I look up to. My mom and I have a habit of trying on the worst outfits in stores we wouldn't usually buy things from. We did not let today be any different. I tried on so many bad outfits that I had a stomach ache by the end of the day from all the laughing we did. It also made us work an appetite and we decided to go eat at an Italian restaurant that my mom loved going to. It was the same place my father took her to propose and my mom brought my dad here to give him the news of me.

"Wow it hasn't changed one bit." She looks around the place then closes her eyes as she tilts her head back for a moment. "You know you remind me so much of him. Everything he was is what you are and I love how you've grown up to be like him. Your father was a great person and I know I don't like to talk about him a lot and I'm sorry for that."

"Mom I know it's hard to lose someone you love. I can only imagine how that feels..."

"I hope you never truly know what that feels like. I want you to be happy and live a life full of love forever."

"Thanks to you I have." Her eyes and nose crinkled up as I told her this. My mom was everything in my life and I knew after my dad left it was difficult for her, so she moved to New York with my grandparents. At first I didn't really understand why we were there for so long, but after some time without him I realized what it meant. Of course when we got back home she wasn't the same in the house, but I was happier here and she knew it so she stuck it out. Once I was old enough to take care of myself in middle school I would stay home when she would go visit New York and over time the visits got longer.

I didn't mind because I had Mark with me and my mom knew I was happier here with him. He was⏤ is everything to me. She knew this, so I told her my sophomore year I didn't want to move to New York when she asked and she understood. I was never mad that she left me for so much time because she was respecting what I wanted. It wasn't like she never talked to me, she called every night no matter what to ask me about my day. If anything ever happened she was here as fast as she could be, if I needed help with something, if I got hurt at school, if I just needed to see her she never failed me.